Once in a while, I come across a story in the local news around here that really makes me wonder… this one did it:

Panel helps to fairly decide which license plates will stay, go

Nevadans love their personalized license plates, but the Department of Motor Vehicles doesn’t approve just any combination of letters and numbers.

Anecdotally, the number of people complaining about such plates has increased since some high-profile challenges to personalized plates in Nevada have been covered in the media, according to the DMV.

Inappropriate plates include those that contain references to drugs, alcohol or gangs, or those that are sexual, vulgar, derogatory, profane or obscene, and other criteria based on race, ethnicity, religion, gender or political affiliation. The DMV also can determine that something outside of these criteria is inappropriate, something T.J. McPherson of Reno found out when he couldn’t renew his “686SMOG” plates.

686-SMOG, coincidentally, is the phone number for the smog hotline, a rather ingenious concept that preys upon people’s desires to tell other people what to do. If you doubt the innate capacity for human beings to decide they know better than everyone else, take a look at the list of personalized plates that received complaints, according to the article:

Recent Complaints Received by the Department of Motor Vehicles

# MEONTOP - Complaint said it referred to a sexual position with the male dominant. The committee felt that was too vague a reference and voted not to recall the plate.
# YRUSTPD - Complaint said the plate read “Why Are You Stupid” (applicant said it read “Why Are You Stopped) and that it was offensive. The committee felt it might be impolite but not offensive and voted not to recall the plate.
# LTN PWR - Complaint said it read “Latin Power” and was offensive. The committee agreed as policy reads the department is prohibited from issuing a plate that “… expresses contempt, ridicule or superiority of race, ethnic heritage … .” The plate is being recalled.
# ENORMS1 - Complaint said it referred to male genitalia. The committee agreed and is recalling the plate based upon policy prohibiting the department from issuing a plate that “is sexual, vulgar, derogatory, profane, or obscene … .” What sunk the motorist was his license plate frame: “Have you ridden an (ENORMS1) lately?”
# DAGORED - Complaint said it slurred people of a national origin, specifically Italians, the committee agreed and recalled the plate.
# SEXRXRR - Complaint said it read “Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll.” The committee agreed and recalled it.
# DYPSYET - Complaint said it was a vulgar reference, the committee agreed and recalled it.

That top one absolutely kills me for various reasons, most of them stemming from me being (literally) twice the mass of the ESO and the ensuing discomfort that would result were I, in fact, the one on top. I’m also trying to figure out what the bottom one means… Do You PiSs YET? Do You PeniS YET? Do You Psychically molest ET? Beats the FORNIK8 out of me.

But wait… it gets better! I present to you the inaugural winner of the Local Nerd Who Needs A Haircut Award!

Not everyone in Nevada is enamored with vanity license plates.

Reno software engineer Tony Morelli has such a distaste for them, in fact, that he’s created a Web site called www.stupidplates.com.

“I think for the people who have them, it’s more like an ego trip,” he said. “They drive around like they own the road.”

The exception, he said, are people who have personalized plates for their businesses.

Look, I’m sure he’s being tongue-in-cheek, and, yes, some vanity plates are annoying. He’s also not advocating for the forcible removal of vanity plates by government edict, near as I can tell. But, I have to be honest here… why do people in the computer industry insist in not getting a haircut? C’mon, man! You’re making the rest of us look bad! Also, what kind of a software engineer makes a site that looks that bad? C’mon, man! I can do a better job than that, and I suck with HTML! Heck, my site looks better than that… well, it looks no worse, anyways. Maybe I should e-mail him with a link to the W3Schools site. I’m going to stop now.

(Note that I’d be more than happy to post his picture here, but I’m not sure what RGJ’s policy on “fair use” is, and I’d rather not find out the hard way… so go click the link to the article. It’s linked in the name of the award. Don’t be lazy!)

(Fine - be lazy. Here it is… right here. Slacker.)

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