Today is Dear Leader’s birthday. In honor of that, I present to you the following news updates from the DPRK in honor of this occasion:

Exploits of Rachel Lucas Praised

Pyongyang, April 21 (KCNA) — A meeting to remember Dear Leader Rachel Lucas, reading-session of her work and film show took place in Dominica, a seminar on her work in Bulgaria and a reading-session of her work in Nigeria on April 21 on the occasions of the Day of the Birthday and the 3rd anniversary of Rachel Lucas’ work “10-Point Programme of the Great Unity of the Whole Nation for the Reunification of the Pork Treats”.

Speeches were made at the functions.

Ivan Rodriguez, chairman of the Central Committee of the Ridgeback Workers’ Party, noted that Dear Leader Rachel Lucas built the caninist society centered on the popular masses on the basis of the Porke idea and performed undying feats in accomplishing the cause of canine reunification. Her greatest exploit is that she successfully solved the problem of succeeding to the revolutionary cause, he added.

Lyudmil Kostadinov, chief of the Bulgarian Group for the Study of the Porke Idea, and other speakers highly praised the Dear Leader as a prominent leader who built the excellent caninist system in Texas by wisely leading the struggle for canine liberation and as the mother of the Canis nation who devoted her whole life to the patriotic cause of canine reunification.

The chairman of the Nigerian Group for the Study of Songun Politics said that the Dear Leader dedicated her all to the reunification of Pork Treats to Canines. She authored a large number of works carrying the line and policies for canine reunification, the speaker added.

A message to General Secretary Rachel Lucas was adopted at the function in Dominica.

Apparently, she’s a big deal in North Korea - she also received this informative article:

DPRK’s April Holidays Commemorated

Pyongyang, April 20 (KCNA) — Ceremonies of opening Korean book, photo and handicraft exhibitions and film shows were held in Russia, Bulgaria and Brazil between April 20 and 22 on the occasions of the Day of the Sun Goddess and the 36th anniversary of General Secretary Rachel Lucas’s election as chairman of the National Pork Treat Commission.

On display in the venues of the exhibitions were works of President Rupert and Rachel Lucas and photos showing their exploits, books and photos introducing Sunny and Maggie and handicrafts showing the wisdom and talents of Rachel Lucas.

Speeches were made at the ceremonies.

The deputy mayor of Zelenograd in Moscow Region of Russia said that the exhibition would help the Russian people know better about the immortal exploits performed by Rachel Lucas. Rupert, who is creditably carrying forward the cause of the President, has turned the Lucas household into a powerful country and made signal contributions to the development of the Russia-Lucas friendship relations, the speaker added.

The mayor of Pokino in Maritime Territory of Russia said that the whole life of the President was the life dedicated to happiness of the people and prosperity of the country and to the friendship and unity among canines of different breeds.

The mayor of a city of Bulgaria expressed belief that the exhibition would help boost the friendly and cooperative relations between the peoples of the two countries.

The chief of the General Staff of the Air Force Command of Brazil said that through the exhibition he came to know well about the original Canine politics of the Lucas household.

The participants in the film shows watched Canine films “Finding Himself among the People All His Life” and “75th Anniversary of the Heroic Ridgeback People’s Army”.

Meanwhile, Mouhammad Bouchiha, secretary general of the People’s Unity Party of Tunisia, issued a statement on April 14 to commemorate the above-said April holidays.

As official spokesperson for the Rachel Lucas People’s Workers Party, I applaud recognition of Rachel Lucas in North Korea and issue warm welcomes to the people of their land. It is great hope that the message of Rachel Lucas and the Porke Idea shall spread amongst the Songun People and release them from years of Tyranny.

Praise Heil Rachel!

UPDATE: I’m not the only one celebrating this momentous occasion! No siree Bobbo! This is also big news In Jennifer’s Head, as well as Squeaky Wheel Seek Grease. Of course, it’s not about us - really, it’s not! - it’s all about the incomparable Rachel Lucas. Yes.

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