BREAKING NEWS: The much more highly regarded Frank J. of IMAO fame has declared his candidacy for the office of President of the United States in 2016:

I’m going to campaign on getting the federal government back to the basics. That means focusing on having it only do what citizens can’t do for themselves: Kill bad people in foreign lands. Also, nuking the moon.

Though I agree with my esteemed opponent’s view on killing bad people in foreign lands, I disagree with his policy on deploying nuclear weapons to the moon.  I also believe that the federal government still has a useful role in killing bad people in native lands.  Fortunately, I have almost a year of semi-solid (colloidal?) campaigning under my belt, acquiring support from all corners of the country (well, some corners, at least), so I believe that, though I do not have the level of infamy of my opponent, I still possess a strong enough campaign machine to overcome this challenge.

Until 2016!

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