Ah, the joys of parental stupidity… like agreeing to give your toddler Ritalin:

TODDLERS as young as two are being diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed drugs including Ritalin.

Figures obtained by The Daily Telegraph reveal 311 children in NSW aged five and under depend on controversial medication, including 58 four-year-olds and 13 three-year-olds.

Health Department figures show that, nationally, doctors have prescribed ADHD drugs to five toddlers aged only two, despite possible side effects.

The mother of one four-year-old who has been on Ritalin since the age of three said she knew there could be long-term effects but the change in her son’s behaviour was worth the risk.

“At first I was hoping he didn’t have ADHD and I didn’t want to put him on medication but I thought I should give it a go and there has been a big improvement,” the single mother of two told The Daily Telegraph.

I bet. If I were to start spiking my son’s food with vodka, he’d probably calm down and stop launching himself off of monkey bars to the detriment of his elbow. Then again, he’d also be a five year old zombie child that, if I died his hair blond, would be a perfect double for one of those “Village of the Damned” children.

Notice to all parents: Children are crazy. They like to run, jump, swim, and otherwise drain every ounce of energy from your being. That’s normal. They will probably also severely injure themselves in the process. That’s also normal. Get over it and stop doping your children. If you can’t handle that, stop waiting ’til you’re 40 to have children. Simple, no? Have children while you still have the energy to have them, instead of waiting until you feel you’ve accomplished your career goals first, most of which you could probably accomplish with a child anyways. It’s not that complicated, and it’s not like you were going to retire at 60 anyways. Hell, I don’t see any compelling reason why I can’t do my job well into my 70s, nor do I see any compelling reason why I wouldn’t want to - I mean, yeah, vacations are fun and all, but that’s where becoming an “independent contractor” could come into play.

Gah. How would you even tell the difference between a “hyperactive” two-year-old and a normal two-year-old? I’d be more worried if any two-year-old in my care wasn’t hyperactive, y’know?

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