I like cows. The judge likes cows. Who doesn’t like cows?

AN OBSCENITY trial was put on hold yesterday after revelations the judge hearing the case posted a photo on the internet of nude women painted to look like cows.

Judge Alex Kozinski, 57, had uploaded the photo, while a video on the site showed a semi-naked man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal.

[…]

“Is it prurient? I don’t know what to tell you,” he said. “I think it’s odd and interesting. It’s part of life.”

Look, I enjoy milk and udders as much as the next guy, especially when they come in pairs.  That said, you don’t see me cavorting with sexually aroused farm animals.  To be honest, I’ve seen enough sexually aroused farm animals to know that, if they’re aroused, they’re not particularly picky about where they satisfy their animal lust, and, well, I’m sorry, but most farm animals are built just a wee bit more… stout than the average human.  Plus, cows are heavy, y’know?  I mean, do you really want 4,000 pounds of aroused bull getting ideas about you?  I think not.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some black and white latex paint to go play with…

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