One of my coworkers alerted me about this:

The 8 Places You Probably Lost Your Virginity

You always remember where you were when you lost your virginity, and most of the time you wish you could forget it.

It’s an amusing list, if nothing else; feel free to click on it.  That said, since I have nothing better to do, let’s go through it:

8. THE BATHROOM OF A FRAT HOUSE

The one problem with this list is that there are tons of these that only happen in college, or at least around college types.  Near as I can tell, there really aren’t a whole lot of people these days that wait that long - heck, I know that half of my high school class lost their virginity by middle school.  Then again, when you live in a town full of pedophiles and space aliens, well, that sort of thing is bound to happen.  That said… I don’t know too many people that had sex in the bathroom of a frat house.  The hallway, a closet, the backyard, one of the many bedrooms, the living room in front of everyone… these are all believable.  The bathroom?  I’m not so sure.

7. SPRING BREAK

One of these days, I’m going to launch into a tirade about how much the whole “spring break” phenomenon would piss me off I wasn’t so paralyzingly apathetic.  That said, I just don’t feel like getting into it right now.

6. HOTEL AFTER PROM

This I can believe.  I think this is how the other half of my class lost their virginity… y’know, the half that didn’t exercise their carnal lusts between 7th and 8th grades.

Except for me.  See, I lost mine…

5. BACKSEAT OF A CAR

It was the back seat of a 1994 Dodge Shadow, to be more specific, and, when you’re 6′2″, finding a place to put your legs is a bit of a challenge.  That said, in those days, Dodge knew how to make a small car that still had a little room, so I was still able to pull it off.  In other words, it wasn’t uncomfortable like the back seat of a Volkswagen.

As another aside, station wagons are so much better for this sort of thing.

4. CONFESIONAL BOOTH

Heh… heh heh… praise the Lord and pass the birth control?

3. PARENT’S BASEMENT

Yeah, I can see this.  That said, I think the parent’s bedroom is probably a little more common.

(Who says being a latchkey kid doesn’t have its advantages?)

2. TOP BUNK AT SUMMER CAMP

As someone who went to band camp, this sort of thing was surprisingly common, and it always went down the way it was described here.  Without fail, it was always an older woman and a younger guy.  The male counselors were so deathly afraid they’d end up in jail if they pulled a stunt like this that they did a wonderful job of behaving themselves, at least during camp - not so much with the women.  I never understood (and, frankly, still don’t) what a college-age girl would get out of a high school-age guy; I mean, we’re talking about a hair trigger here, y’know?  I guess they might be a little easier to train or something… *shrug*

1. EUROPE

Really, any foreign land will do… and, for the record, you don’t have to go to Spain or Italy or wherever to go to a brothel.  We have plenty of fine, legal, clean brothels here in the State of Nevada, and I strongly encourage anyone seeking a paid companion to stop by.

(This message was brought to you by the Nevada State Brothel & Tourism Commission.)

Trackback URI | Comments RSS