Okay, so it’s actually the 5th, Independence Day was yesterday, and the alien ship has finally been shot down.  Good job, Will Smith!

I kid.

So, what is the 4th of July like in the Colborne household?  It’s funny you should ask - it’s about as exciting as you would expect if you were to allow an extremely pregnant woman and a sysadmin to get together and plan a low-key 4th of July bash.  It involves barbecue, linguica, bockwurst, turkey burgers, and fruit.  I’ll admit, the fruit confused me as much as anyone, but the ESO insisted that there be something relatively protein-free at the festivities for those that, y’know, might want to load up on fructose instead of American Protein.  This sounded like the deranged wailing of a madwoman, myself, but what do I know?  Besides, the strawberries were rather tasty and served as a nice complement to the frankfurter, spicy linguica, and bockwurst I had earlier that day.  In the process, I learned about a new food group - apparently, there is more to food than complex carbohydrates and meat.  Huh!

The ESO’s mother, young teenage sister, and one of my friends arrived for the low-key barbecuing.  After some cooking and essening of the fleische, we then slowly (very slowly) migrated to Helm’s Deep, a.k.a. the Sparks Marina, to partake in further festivities, primarily focused upon observing bats and watching people at the Nugget blow up colorful bits of gunpowder.  This was then followed with a trip home and some well-earned sleep.

Now, I know what you’re thinking - how is it possible to condense the mind-tingling excitement of a low-key Independence Day barbecue into two paragraphs?  It takes effort - and time.  Only through mastery of the English language, such as the mastery you’re witnessing today, can a writer succinctly catalogue and describe the sort of excitement contained in those paragraphs, using brief, pithy prose.  Oh yes.  This is mastery, and I challenge anyone to a duel who suggests otherwise.

In other news, I’ll be announcing my own death by cutlass within the week.  Good times!

Meanwhile, a new favorite web site of mine - Keep Lahontan Brown!  Having spent my Independence Day at one former environmental disaster, the least I could do is glorify the existence of another nearby one.  Who doesn’t need more mercury in their drinking water?

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