I’m taking a quick detour from my Stuff Nerds Like series today.  I’ll jump right back in tomorrow, though.  In the meantime, I had something vaguely similar to an epiphany:

Imagine if we taught teenagers about driving the same way we teach teenagers about sex.

With most things in life, parents can be quite specific, providing exacting advice, personal anecdotes, and anything else you can possibly think of to, so the theory goes, help their teenagers learn from their mistakes.  Sex, on the other hand, is almost always a different story, which got me thinking - how well would it work if we taught teenagers how to drive if we used the same methods we use to teach them about sex?

For example, you might have the religious folk:
Driving before car ownership is a sin!  Part of the experience of owning a car is learning how to drive it!  Read the manual!  Seat belts are against God’s will!  Stop playing with your keys or you’ll go blind!

Then, there’s the “safe driving” talk…
I want to talk to you about something… when I was young, I was with my first car, and I wasn’t a safe driver.  I ended up flying through the windshield, which is how I got these disfiguring scars on my face that you see today.  When you first drive, always make sure to use protection.  Always use a seat belt.

Of course, no discussion would be complete without actually describing what driving is, exactly…
When a man falls in love with a car, he wants to take it driving.  Driving, son, is when a man inserts his key into the ignition.  This should only be with a car you own, or at least a car that you plan on having a lasting relationship with.  Never, ever, drive your friends’ cars.  Nothing ruins a friendship faster than that.  Some people rent or lease cars, either for pleasure or to satisfy their driving needs… I’m not for that, but I know some people that have done it.  The cars are usually broken down and dirty.  I don’t recommend doing that.  Also, don’t get involved with convertibles… they’re all fun and games when the sun’s up, but the minute the weather turns sour, everything goes to hell in a handbasket.  I hope this advice serves you well.

At no point, however, would the parent ever mention how to actually drive a car. Consequently, would anyone be surprised if, given this sort of “information”, if the first thing that every teenager did upon trying to drive a car was turn the ignition (probably accidentally) and watch it lunge into a wall or a tree or something?  Would it be surprising if some teenagers never figured out how to properly drive a car?  It would take years of trial and error, going through many unpleasant experiences with many cars, chatting with friends about the mechanics, before most people would ever have what we could now consider a basic competency behind the wheel.  Heck, it would take weeks before most teenagers would figure out what the wheel does, or why it’s important to touch it from time to time.

Just something to think about.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS