Nerds love free stuff.  There’s no denying it.  If you give a nerd something for free, it honestly doesn’t matter what it is, they will take it.  It could be a Sex & The City box set, it could be a bag of cow dung, it could even be a EGR valve for an ‘88 Yugo; they will take it and find something to do with it.  Nothing is too obscure for a nerd to take for free and keep around the house well beyond its shelf life.  A catastrophic side effect of this, of course, is that their living and working spaces begin to resemble a New York garbage scow.  There will be computer parts for computers that haven’t been made in 20 years, technical manuals that haven’t been relevant in 30, t-shirts that were fashionably unacceptable to wear at the conference they got them from 10 years ago, copies of OS/2, and so on.

Some basic rules of etiquette when dealing with nerds and free stuff:

• Never suggest to the nerd that they should get rid of any of the free stuff.  Most will take it in good humor, but it will only build up stubbornness and resistance to the idea that they should, in fact, get rid of any of that stuff.  The rest will start throwing the free stuff at you in fits of violent anger.
• If you give a nerd some free stuff, they will be indebted to you for a period of time directly proportional to the level of weirdness, obscurity, and uselessness of the item.  An OEM copy of Windows Vista, for example, might earn you a trip to the liquor store.  An OEM copy of Windows NT 3.1, on the other hand, may earn you a permanent, on-call designated driver, available 24/7/365.  Keep in mind, however, that this depends on what is already in the nerd’s collection - the older the nerd, the greater his or her collection, and the harder it is to impress or please the nerd.  Consequently, it’s best to give nerds weird and obscure items when they’re still young enough to appreciate them and lose some of them while moving into and out of college dorm rooms.  That said, older nerds, when impressed, can do far more useful things for you than the younger nerds.  You pay a higher price, but, if you need the goods, it’s worth it.

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