Stuff Nerds Like #5: Anime
It’s a well documented fact of life that white people enjoy most things Japan. In fact, the following is also documented there:
Many white nerds are into anime, so being too into this can be seen as a negative by white people.
What is it about anime that fascinates nerds? If you ask a nerd, they will give many thoughtful, compelling, and complicated reasons, many of which will focus on the intricate artwork, creative story lines, and incredible character development compared to American animation. All of these reasons, however, are a front - like most things nerd, their enjoyment of anime is much simpler and easier to understand than they like to let on. To understand why nerds enjoy anime, you need to understand what anime is always about:
- Robots
- Girls
That’s pretty much it. Anime robots bring violence, which leads to things blowing up - nerds love when things blow up. Girls, meanwhile lead to boobs and sex, and, well, who doesn’t love boobs or sex? Best of all, since anime isn’t restricted by physical reality or American standards of decency, the robots and girls can be drawn to exquisite standards of impossible physical perfection and do pretty much anything that Japanese people can think of… and, believe me, Japanese people think of some really, really strange things for robots and girls to do together.
When discussing anime with nerds, it’s vitally important to remember a few basic rules:
- If it’s on Cartoon Network, it’s not “good” anime. Many of the same rules that apply to white people and Indie Music apply to nerds and anime. The harder it is to get, the “better” it is. Bonus points if it’s fan dubbed and only found at conventions.
- Since anime is rather expensive, getting a nerd some anime that fills a hole in his or her collection is a gift that will be held in high esteem.
- Be careful about hentai! Different nerds have different tastes, and, depending on how the nerd feels about you, a gift of hentai may send the wrong signals. Do not give a nerd any remotely erotic anime if you are in a gender that the nerd prefers to have sexual relations with unless you are planning to have sexual relations with that nerd. Failing to remember that will anger the nerd, who will then proceed to hold a lifelong grudge against you and start doing things like “accidentally” wiping your hard drive or replacing your household fuses with highly conductive materials. Also, if a nerd asks if you’re interested in watching hentai with them and you’re a member of their preferred gender, assume they want to sleep with you and react accordingly.
Followup: Yes, I know - La Blue Girl is more about tentacles than robots. The point still stands.
Stuff Nerds Like | David Colborne | 
July 10, 2008 11:52 am
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