McCain
Okay - I know I said I’d write out the speech I want McCain to give by now. Unfortunately, I’ve reached a bit of a quandary; I was going to write out a little speech explaining his choice of Gov. Palin, but the SNL thing went reasonably well and she’s starting to actually enjoy being around the press. So, a good chunk of it has changed, and thankfully for the better because it means that, for the first time in a while, I finally get to use some good football analogies.
For the sake of those of you that are finding this place via Google, I’ll state right here and now that I’m a bit of a college football fan. I go to every Nevada home game, or at least I have been this year. I originally got hooked during my Pep Band phase and, though familial and work concerns have interfered from time to time, I’ve made it a point to catch as many games as I can. Since I root for Nevada, it’s pretty safe to say that we’re the underdog more often than not; we’re what sports analysts call a “mid-major program”, which is a polite way of saying that we don’t have the budget, the facilities, the tradition, or the coaching to consistently hang with big boys. Over the years, I’ve seen some impressive wins, far more impressive near-misses, and far too many horrendous meltdowns.
When this election season started, I thought for sure that it didn’t matter what Republican candidate was thrown on the ticket - we were in for one horrendous meltdown. I’m talking USC-Washington State territory here. The economy didn’t look good, the housing bubble was starting to burst, gas prices were through the roof, Bush was less appreciated than Paris Hilton, Iraq was improving but still rather spotty - by all rights, all the Democrats had to do was field a halfway capable candidate, get their house in order, and then steamroll the poor sap the Republicans were going to throw on the ticket.
The trouble with predictions is they’re frequently wrong - if they weren’t, we wouldn’t even bother having elections or playing football games. We’d just throw together a couple of fantasy lineups, run the numbers, and pick a winner. What I didn’t know at the time was that the Democrats were going to blow their load in the primaries. I also didn’t realize, at least at first, that the Democrats were serious about choosing either a woman that half of the country already decided they hated ten years ago or choosing someone younger than my mother. I definitely wasn’t expecting the young guy to put up any sort of a fight, nor was I expecting him to have all kinds of fun and exciting connections to racist preachers and erstwhile terrorists.
To put this into football terms, this would be somewhat similar to Nevada going to, say, Texas. Nobody in their right mind would ever expect Nevada to hold up against Texas. Nobody with half a clue would expect Texas to throw a red shirt freshman quarterback against Nevada that was as likely to throw the ball to the opposition as to his own team when there’s a perfectly serviceable senior quarterback available that just wasn’t quite as flashy during practice. I mean, the freshman can play next year - let him learn behind the senior and get some experience as a backup, right? Certainly nobody would expect the first quarter to go by and find Nevada down by 3…
Then came the convention. It was to become Obama’s shining moment - the moment when he would rally the base, drive into the end zone, and put this game away once and for all. It was shaping up to be something special, too, with all kinds of flash and a packed stadium full of fans. Obama saw the receiver… he threw long…
Nevada is now up by 4! The crowd is silent, stunned… mortified by what they’re seeing unfold in front of them. I thought we already won this thing, they mutter to themselves. Instead, they’re watching their prize freshman, highly touted by all of the scouts, make unforced turnovers and struggle to move the ball against that was supposed to be a highly mediocre defense.
Then came halftime. Texas made adjustments. Nevada was ecstatic.
The third quarter started, and things immediately started to look bad. Nevada threw in a freshman QB of their own and tried to open up the offense, hoping to catch Texas off guard. It worked at first, but once Texas realized that the new QB couldn’t read a basic defense, they shut the offense down in nothing flat. Then, the weather began to sour. The field was becoming a sloppy, slippery mess. All Texas had to do was just run the ball, using its superior line against Nevada’s suspect defense. Sure, it wouldn’t be pretty, but it would be effective; plus, it would keep their freshman QB from being in a position to make any serious mistakes.
The fourth quarter is now. The weather is clearing a little. Nevada is still close, but they’re down by about a touchdown. Their offense is starting to move again. Obama is fumbling the ball. Texas’ coaching staff is too busy focusing on the fans and not enough time on the field. No, Nevada’s chances aren’t good, but they’re a heck of a lot better than anybody expected they would be by this point.
As far as “Texas” fans are concerned, this game shouldn’t be anywhere near this close. They’re probably right, but it doesn’t matter - it is close, and, as long as they keep playing like it’s not, they’re going to be in for one hell of a surprise when this game ends.
Go ahead, “Texas”. Keep playing not to lose. This Nevada fan won’t mind one bit.
politics | David Colborne | 
October 20, 2008 9:50 pm
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