Not that I’ve been keeping particularly close attention to the state budget proceedings or anything, but I think it’s worth noting that the special session for the Nevada budget has ended.  Some of the highlights:

1. The RGJ’s coverage of the Special Session is abhorrent.  I’m not kidding - I’d expect the kind of spotty, poorly written coverage I’m seeing from them from the Sagebrush, not a professional newspaper.  If you want a fighting chance of figuring out what’s going on, the Las Vegas Review-Journal has an ongoing series, and the Nevada Appeal is doing a pretty solid job of covering the proceedings as well.
2. The 4% COLA for state employees has been maintained.  There was almost no political will to do anything about this, which wasn’t particularly surprising.
3. The Nevada State Prison lives on.  This is actually a little surprising, to be honest.  It’s definitely long in the tooth and in a relatively urban area, as compared to the facilities in Ely and Lovelock.  It looks like the Las Vegas representatives were concerned that the state was just going to start holding most of its prisoners in the south.
4. The biggest cut?  Textbooks - an idea generated to prevent cuts in teacher pay.  Clark County loves this idea, coincidentally, which is curious considering they need textbooks more than any other district in the state.
5. The casinos may finally get to avoid taxes on comped meals; the Nevada Senate failed to “clarify” their position on taxation of comped meals, which means this issue will almost certainly go back to the Nevada Supreme Court.  There was some chicanery on both sides of the aisle on this one; Titus’ attempted amendment on a possible gas tax holiday reminded me quite nicely why Gibbons ended up becoming governor.  Interestingly, if the federal government decides to hold a “gas tax holiday”, the state immediately jacks the state gas taxes up to make up the difference; Titus wanted to end that.  Considering the state of our roads at the moment, I’m going to go against her on this one, especially since a federal gas tax holiday would almost certainly mean less federal road funding in the future.
6. To the Review-Journal’s credit, they’re the one paper in the state to actually provide an itemized list of the changes in the state budget this year.  I’m generally not fond of our neighbors to the south, much less their news sources, but it’s either them or crap like this.

Anyways, there it is - the state is losing money and there have been some cuts.  Revenue projections indicate things are only going to get worse, which isn’t particularly surprising seeing as Nevada’s entire tax structure is based on property taxes (going down for obvious reasons) and sales taxes (i.e. tax the tourists - guess what high gas prices does to tourism spending?).  Of course, the lack of a state income tax is one of the big selling points to this place for a lot of people, and raising taxes during a recession is almost always a bad idea, so I’m certainly not going to advocate for that; that said, it may be time to get some of the uncertainty out of the state budget.  The trouble with its current structure is that, when times are good, the budget looks really good; when times are bad, the budget looks really bad.  Since it’s almost impossible to actually expect the legislature or the governor to put enough in the Rainy Day Fund to make up the difference, we may need to come up with other, more even revenue flows for the state so that state funding isn’t all over the map every year.  Doing that without a state income tax would require a bit of effort, to put it gently.

You have a Victory Garden.  It’s growing things.  Things you want to keep.  What do you do?  Fresh food has the nasty tendency to spoil, even in our relatively dry, microbe-free desert environment (i.e. if you’re reading this in Reno).

The solution:  Canning!  As always, Cardoza shows us the way.

The highlights:

1. Know how to properly can.  There’s a reason botulism is frequently spread through canned goods.  Don’t let yours fall to the same fate.
2. Heat + salt + vacuum = Will probably work.
3. The USDA gives tips and hints and, to be fair, probably has since the Wilson administration.
4. I’m addicted to italics.  I need help.

You can do this!  Just remember - WWJD?  What Would John Do… look, it’s not my fault his initials are the same as a certain carpenter.  I didn’t name him.  I just hope he doesn’t die for our sins or anything, otherwise I’ll never know how to properly maintain my Victory Garden!

(Teach a man to pick a vegetable and you’ll feed him for a day.  Teach a man to garden and you’ll feed him for a lifetime?)

John Cardoza has a rather interesting idea about how to make it through the period of high gas prices and the impending spike in food prices due to the weather in Iowa - victory gardens.  He even gets the topic started off with a little World War 2 propaganda, just to spice things up a bit.

This isn’t a particularly new idea, of course.  Slate recently had an author that’s part of the “urban farming movement” that detailed her experiences with raising poultry.  As the article puts it:

There’s been a lot of ink spilled lately (in the New York Times, among other publications) on city chickens and the urban farming movement. Yes, movement. Whether they’re screw-you-ing the chicken or the egg industries (or, of course, both), next-gen farmers seem to have read Michael Pollan very carefully. They are hip, young, smart, liberal-arts-college graduates, green in many senses of the word, wearing stiff new overalls and chewing on only organic, free-range, locally grown straw, racing outside to move their tractors for street-sweeping. They are locavores, homesteaders, part of a revolution. They are saving the environment, making a statement. And if they eat their own, they tend to see the killing as an unpleasant downside—a tradeoff for the clear conscience that comes with cage-free, hormone-free, factory-free gumbo.

If some of this sounds familiar, well, it kind of should…

“One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words ‘Socialism’ and ‘Communism’ draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, ‘Nature Cure’ quack, pacifist, and feminist in England.”

Or, if you will, precisely the kind of people that have been involved with the “urban farming movement”… until now.  You see, John is not hip.  He’s young (just turned 30), but you wouldn’t know it by looking at him - he has a handlebar mustache, for Christ’ sake.  He is smart, and he does have a Masters in Music Composition, but that’s where the left-leaning wackiness ends.  Past that, it’s nothing but Reagan-praising conservativism, with strong Catholic Republican roots.  Point being, he’s precisely the kind of person that isn’t being described as part of this “revolution”.  He’s not doing this to save the environment - indeed, becoming an urban farmer in a desert city like Reno is probably worse for the local environment than just letting the food get shipped in.  He’s not doing this to grow organic food - in fact, I’m willing to bet he’d spray DDT on his garden in an instant if he could get a hold of it.  I can also guarantee you that killing his own meat would not be considered an unpleasant downside - on the contrary, it would be one of the rewarding parts of the experience of raising his own animals for human consumption.

This is why this man is a visionary.  He is showing us another way - a new philosophical path to embrace the concept of locally grown, or, if you will, revealing a well-worn old path, one with deep ruts from many ages of use, and dark, tall trees, planted eons ago to shade travelers past.  This man isn’t telling you anything you didn’t already know - he’s simply reminding you that which you already know so well.  His first, best destiny is to tell you how to grow green beans.  Anything else is a waste of fertilizer.

(John - good enough plug for you?)

If there’s one thing you can count on from the Elko Daily Free Press, it’s that it’ll point you in the general direction of something really annoying…

RENO (AP) - NAACP and American Civil Liberties Union officials have expressed concern over tougher admission standards at Nevada’s two universities, citing a report that shows they have caused a drop in minority enrollment.

Lucille Adin, president of the Reno-Sparks National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, said a further increase in the minimum grade point average from 2.75 to 3.0 this fall could discourage minority students from getting a higher education.

“We try to get these kids to go to college, and they make it so difficult by raising the grade point average and the tuition,” Adin told the Reno Gazette-Journal.

First off, let me begin by noting that, yes, this is an AP article, and I suppose that, as a blogger, I’m supposed to be boycotting them or something.  That’s nice. Unfortunately, noting this requires me to go on a tangent that I probably should save for another time, but, as the French say, c’est la vie.

I’m not into ideological purity.  I don’t care if it’s free software, Libertarianism, or whatever - I don’t believe that any single ideology can or should define my personal behaviors.  Life is far too complicated to be properly covered by a finite set of rules and regulations.  That’s not to say that a person shouldn’t have a broad, defining philosophy to guide their actions; failing to have one is a good way to drift around aimlessly.  However, attempting to be a “good” insert movement of choice here, whether that’s Christian, Atheist, Muslim, or conservative blogger, is a pointlessly limiting exercise.  In short, don’t add more rules and requirements in your life than you need in order to live your life productively without compromising somebody else’s ability to do the same.  This is why I’m not too concerned about the AP boycott - if they feel like calling me up and saying, “Hey, stop quoting our material,” fine, I’ll honor that.  Until then, I do think it’s unfortunate that the AP is being difficult with certain bloggers, and it’s unfortunate that they’re encouraging Estate 4.1 to use a different media service to meet their editorial needs, but, if that’s the choice they wish to make, well, it’s certainly within their rights to do so.

Back to the article at hand, though…

I can see how increased tuition would be unpleasant for everyone involved.  I was a college student in the University of Nevada system, and, though it was quite affordable (roughly $1800/semester for tuition for 15+ credits each semester I went there, not including books), I can definitely relate with the fact that a minor tuition increase is felt very sensitively against many college students there.  Since it’s a public university system, especially not a particularly well-renown one, many students there are self-supporting; put another way, you’re not seeing a whole lot of students whose parents are footing the bill.  That said, a 3.0 in high school is not too much to ask in order to attend a university.  If you can’t pull off a 3.0 in high school, you probably shouldn’t be going to college. Heck, I had a 3.7 in high school and, without getting into specifics, let’s just say my college GPA was not that high.  There are a lot of distractions once you go to college - nobody’s forcing you to show up to class, you probably have to do something on the side to pay for your existence, there’s minimal parental supervision, and there are a lot more social events.  If you’re doing such a poor job of handling the pressures of high school that you can’t even pull off a 3.0 there, well, how well do you think you’re going to handle college, hmm?

This brings me to Ms. Adin’s statement regarding the effect a higher GPA requirement affects minority enrollment:  Which is better for our minorities - letting them slip into college without sufficient preparation, so they’re up to their noses in student loan debt with nothing to show for it, or telling them that, sorry, they’re not prepared for college yet?  As someone with far more than I should have in student loan debt, I can tell you straight up that encouraging people to amass the kind of debt many poor students would need to accrue to successfully handle the financial pressures of college when they’re nowhere near ready or, at that time, capable of finishing a college education is morally bankrupt.  You’re staring someone in the eyes and saying, “Don’t worry about high school - you’ll be fine in college, regardless of whether your past experience has encouraged you in your abilities to handle further schooling.  It’s not like you’ll be saddled with crippling debt or waste years of your life that would have been better spent in a vocational program or anything.”  In short, if a student, minority or otherwise, can’t handle the educational pressures of high school, why should our publicly funded universities pay for that student’s education, in whole or in part?  It’s not a good investment for the student and it’s not a good investment for the state.

Besides, it’s not like the numbers for minorities are that bad:

The University of Nevada, Reno, reported a 35 percent increase in black students and a 10.6 percent decrease in Hispanic students.

Remember, folks, according to the new math, an increase in the number of a minority group’s enrollment is a sign that their ability to enroll is being threatened.  This, of course, is probably a shining example of the kind of logic one learns when you go to college without proper preparation beforehand.

On an entirely unrelated note, teens driving into a deer is newsworthy.  The more you know…

Pretend, for a second, that you’re a state agency that wants to shut up a special interest group.  They want you to provide benefits to their domestic partners, even if they’re gay.  How do you do this without, y’know, actually doing this?

CARSON CITY (AP) - A Nevada panel that oversees health insurance benefits for state employees voted Thursday to extend coverage to domestic partners, including those of the same sex, despite budget problems that could make the $2.7 million cost unaffordable.

State Public Employees Benefits Program board members voted 5-3 to move forward despite concerns about the cost voiced by some members.

If funding doesn’t develop during the 2009 legislative session to pay for the expansion of benefits to domestic partners and their children, the regulation won’t take effect.

Candice Nichols, executive director of the Gay and Lesbian Center of Southern Nevada, praised the decision, saying it “enables Nevada to recruit the best and brightest employees for the state.”

That’s right - you create a regulation and state that it takes effect so long as it’s paid for, then promptly ignore the fact that it is, in fact, not paid for.  Brilliant!

I wonder how many other “problems” can be solved this way?  Universal health care?  No problem - we’ll provide universal coverage to everyone and everybody so long as it’s paid for.  Universal housing?  No problem - we’ll buy every American a house, provided tax revenues are sufficient.  Heck, we’ll feed everyone, clothe everyone, and wipe everybody’s diapers… at least on paper.

Folks, I am a genius.

Ah, the joys of zero-tolerance in the schools, as illustrated by the latest in the Reno Gazette-Journal:

A third-grader who was shot Thursday with a pellet gun at Grace Warner Elementary School underscores the danger of the nonlethal guns among teens and adolescents, officials said.

Two students were taken into custody after the incident between 8:30 and 9 a.m. before classes at the northwest Reno campus, Washoe County School District spokesman Steve Mulvenon said.

A boy brought the Airsoft pistol to school and he and a female classmate were playing with it on the school grounds, Mulvenon said. The girl accidentally pulled the trigger, and the round pellet struck a third-grader, Mulvenon said.

“Fortunately, she was not injured,” Mulvenon said. “It raised a welt, as those things do.”

The girl’s mother came to school, looked at the injury, decided the girl was fine and the student was returned to the classroom, Mulvenon said.

School police took the two arrested to the Jan Evans Juvenile Justice Center. Mulvenon did not know what charges they might be facing.

That’s right - a child brings a pellet gun, accidentally shoots another child, leaves a welt that doesn’t even concern the parent, and the two children involved get arrested.  Why?  Well, it’s a pellet gun, after all, so it’s vitally important that we suspend all reason and thought, ignore the true severity of the issue, and call the police, who, in turn, shall similarly suspend all reason and thought and lock the children up.  Why?  Oh, that’s easy - two words:

Zero tolerance.

I remember when a “zero tolerance” platform was put into my high school - this was around 1996, I believe, which seems to coincide with when most other school districts jumped on this bandwagon.  The idea, as most everyone is aware by now, was that, since drugs, violence, and weapons were serious problems in some schools, it was vitally important that all schools escalate these issues to law enforcement so that they could be nipped in the bud.  Since the “zero tolerance” policies were written by educators and politicians, two groups that are well-versed in the needs of children in a school environment and how to meet them through legislation, the resulting policies were both fair and flexible, providing school administrators with the support they needed to reclaim their schools.

Who am I kidding?

Like any “zero tolerance” policy in any other school district, the end result was neither fair nor flexible - more than anything, it gave administrators and teachers the legal cover they needed to abdicate all responsibility and thought from their jobs.  Suddenly, instead of taking into account things like context and circumstance, it was far more important to make sure that teenage girls were locked up for bringing ibuprofen to school (it’s a drug!), teenage boys were locked up for getting in fights (violence!), and so on.  Then, someone got the bright idea that these policies should apply across the entire school district - after all, everybody knows that rules designed to scare the living shit out of high school kids are completely and totally appropriate in an elementary school setting.  In short, in the name of security, we’ve effectively banished our children to prison from the ages of 5 to 18… but, at least we’ll feel safe, knowing that, so long as these policies are in place, we’ll never have to worry about pellet guns or OTC painkillers getting near our precious little snowflakes.

So, Nevada has the Senate Majority Leader in its ranks, who is well known for his proclivity towards earmarks - you’d think we’d be rolling in federal loot, right?

Wrong.

Nevada is dead last in money from federal agencies. Why? Well, there are a few reasons:

The reasons included the state’s tight purse strings and demographics.

It often takes a commitment from the state to give money to get federal money, and Nevada isn’t spending the money, administrators say. With Nevada’s percentage of senior citizens isn’t as high as the rest of the nation, there’s less Social Security and Medicare money flowing to the state.

Also, it turns out the Navy doesn’t spend enough here:

While Nevada lags in spending by the Army and Navy, Air Force spending is higher.

Yeah, I know about Fallon NAS, but still… we’re landlocked, people! We have absolutely zero navigable rivers in this state, unless you count the Lake Mead part of the Colorado River that forms our southern border. Of course Naval spending in this state is weak.

Meanwhile, Medicaid in Nevada just isn’t getting the job done, apparently:

Nevada’s Medicaid program — which provides medical insurance for people who don’t have health insurance — is close to having only the coverage required by federal law, said Charles Duarte, administrator for the Nevada Division of Health Care Financing and Policy.

“The bottom line is that we have a relatively basic program,” Duarte said. “When you look at spending per capita on Medicaid services, we routinely rank near the bottom or at the bottom.”

For instance, 28 other states have the Medically Needy Program for people not eligible for Medicaid to deduct what they spend for medical treatment to qualify for Medicaid. The federal government requires state governments to match Medicaid contributions and Nevada does not have money set aside to do that, Duarte said.

Nevada’s lack of Medicaid programs shows up in higher health insurance premiums, said Dwight Hansen, director of financial services for the Nevada Hospital Association.

When people have no medical insurance, their health worsens and they seek treatment in emergency rooms. That care is more expensive and the uninsured can’t pay, so the hospitals have to look for other places to recover the costs for their more expensive treatment, Hansen said.

“That cost then gets shifted over to the only people the hospital can shift it over to and that’s the insured population,” Hansen said.

And as health insurance costs rise, fewer employers can afford it, leaving a higher percentage of the population without insurance, he said.

“You get into this cost spiral that makes things worse,” Hansen said.

One of these days, I’m going to go off on why it’s absolutely asinine we’re making hospital emergency rooms pay for the uninsured. This is the equivalent of saying, “Okay, we know you can’t afford food, so here’s the deal - if you go to a Red Lobster, you get free food. Otherwise, you’re on your own.” Uh… what?! On what planet does this policy even come close to making sense? Yeah, I get that we’re trying to make sure that everybody has some basic level of care and that people in need aren’t getting thrown out of the hospital, but forcing hospitals to throw the uninsured in the most expensive part of the hospital seems somewhat counterproductive to me. Then again, I’m mildly mystified why hospitals don’t just remodel their ERs and have a little community health center right next to it - whenever someone uninsured comes in with the sniffles, they get taken to the community center where, what the hell, they can get treated for “free”, just like the E.R. It would be cheaper for the hospital, I’m sure. Or, better yet, we could just get over this idea that people should be providing goods or services for “free”. That would be helpful, too.

I’d love to be nice and prolific today, but I’m going to level with everyone - I got almost no sleep last night. I managed to get into bed around 12:30 a.m., which would’ve been bearable if it weren’t for this (Reno Gazette-Journal):

The quake that struck Mogul at 4:33 a.m. has been revised to a magnitude 4.2. It earlier had been listed as a magnitude 4.0.

The location is also listed as between Laurel Ridge Drive and Graysburg Drive just south of the Somersett Country Club.

It’s part of a series of quakes in the Mogul area that began in late February. The strongest has been a 4.7 late Friday.

There have been 21 small earthquakes today ranging from 0.7 to 4.2, all centered in the Verdi-Mogul area.

As some of you may be aware, Reno has been steadily rocked for the past three months by little earthquakes. The AP touched on it a little today, and, indeed, I’ve touched on it a little myself. They’re starting to get more powerful - we’re getting periodic 4’s now, which is getting disconcerting, to put it gently, especially since it means I’m starting to feel them at my apartment on a more regular basis. It’s also completely jacked my sleep schedule - if there’s anything worse than waking up in the middle of the night and having to decide if this one is actually going to be strong enough to jump into the doorway for, well, I can’t think of it.

Some random thoughts in the meantime…

1. Yes, I know about Wright opening his big, fat mouth. I also don’t care. I wasn’t voting for Obama before he opened his mouth, and I’m certainly not going to now. I have issues with Obama’s policies that, for me, are way more important than he chooses to spend his Sundays with. However, if you do care, Rachel touched on it, and Instapundit is doing an excellent job as always.

2. Conspiracy theorists crack me up. I mean, many of them are the same people that would never think for a second that the government would be competent enough to bake a loaf of bread but simultaneously believe it’s completely possible that the government is competent enough to stage 9/11, among other things. You can’t have it both ways. If the government is really that competent, we wouldn’t care about it fooling us with terrorism because none of us would have to work for a living anymore.

3. I’m going to Interop on Wednesday, which means that posting might be a little sporadic then. I am hoping to get some pictures and do a post on it.

4. Remember, I’m switching to the new system on Thursday. If you’re using the Blogspot address, update it schnell! As future Vice President of Porke Affaires, I command it!

My coworkers and I just experienced an earthquake today. Lately, Reno’s been getting a lot of them - think over 60 in less than a week. Granted, Reno’s in a fairly active area, but this is getting a little absurd. They have all been really small (most under 3.0, with the occasional 3.0-4.0 thrown in for good measure), but, especially with what happened in Wells about a month or so ago, some people are feeling a little more paranoid than usual. What’s particularly disturbing is that they all seem to be in roughly the same area. Thankfully, I don’t live on that side of town, but I have a friend or two that does, so this could get a little too interesting in short order.

As Rachel pointed out today, the Internet is proving to be incredibly boring today. Fortunately, I’m willing to go that extra mile for my dear readers, scouring the lesser-known news sources, turning that extra rock that others might miss… which is how I found this (PV Times):

Winery bottles Nevada’s first estate wine

The vineyards at Pahrump Valley Winery are no longer just for show.

Bill and Gretchen Loken, owners of Nevada’s oldest and largest winery, bottled the first crush 2005 Zinfandel called “Nevada Ridge” Wednesday, from grapes grown completely on Pahrump soil.

Besides being an exciting time for the Lokens, it marks a possible turning point for the fledgling grape-growing industry in Nevada, Bill Loken said.

“There’s never been a bottle of wine ever made at the Pahrump Valley Winery from grapes that were grown here — ever,” Loken said.

Loken qualified his remarks, adding it’s “believed to be” the first red estate wine ever grown in Nevada, since Frank “Pop” Buol grew grapes in Pahrump in the 1930s. But little is known about Chateau Buol other than it was bonded by the federal government, he said.

The first crush will produce about 100 cases, or about 1,100 bottles, Loken said. A long list of buyers is awaiting a bottle, expected to cost $75.

Pahrump is about 70 miles west of Las Vegas (the one everyone knows about, not the one in New Mexico); the climate is almost identical, give or take a degree or two. The Pahrump Valley Winery has been trying to successfully grow wine grapes in an environment that is extremely dry (less than four inches of precipitation a year), regularly has 105F highs during the summer, and has a relatively harsh winter compared to places like Napa Valley and Paso Robles. In other words, if there was a more challenging area to grow grapes, it would involve somewhere in the Sahara or the bottom of Death Valley. That they finally pulled this off is nothing short of amazing, especially since they’ve been working on this for nearly 15 years.

One line that did crack me up, though, came at the end of the article:

Could wine connoisseurs some day sniff their fine vintages in the glass and when they inquire where it was grown ask: “Napa Valley? Sonoma? Paso Robles? Pahrump?“

I’m trying to visualize a wine tour through Pahrump, and it’s cracking me up to no end. Keep in mind that Pahrump, great town that it is, is basically little more than thousands of mobile homes planted on acre-to-acre and a half lots dotting a dry, dusty desert. There are a couple of smaller casinos, a few stick-built homes here and there (more now than there used to be), and that’s about it. Oh, and there are also some nearby brothels and Art Bell lives there. Sounds like fun, right? Now, imagine a bunch of yuppie wine snobs coming to visit.

Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

Still, though, I’m genuinely impressed with what they’re doing out there. Growing grapes out there for food in that environment would be a challenge. Growing them for wine and actually coming up with something that doesn’t taste like it belongs on a salad is nothing short of miraculous. Here’s hoping we see more of it.

Once in a while, I come across a story in the local news around here that really makes me wonder… this one did it:

Panel helps to fairly decide which license plates will stay, go

Nevadans love their personalized license plates, but the Department of Motor Vehicles doesn’t approve just any combination of letters and numbers.

Anecdotally, the number of people complaining about such plates has increased since some high-profile challenges to personalized plates in Nevada have been covered in the media, according to the DMV.

Inappropriate plates include those that contain references to drugs, alcohol or gangs, or those that are sexual, vulgar, derogatory, profane or obscene, and other criteria based on race, ethnicity, religion, gender or political affiliation. The DMV also can determine that something outside of these criteria is inappropriate, something T.J. McPherson of Reno found out when he couldn’t renew his “686SMOG” plates.

686-SMOG, coincidentally, is the phone number for the smog hotline, a rather ingenious concept that preys upon people’s desires to tell other people what to do. If you doubt the innate capacity for human beings to decide they know better than everyone else, take a look at the list of personalized plates that received complaints, according to the article:

Recent Complaints Received by the Department of Motor Vehicles

# MEONTOP - Complaint said it referred to a sexual position with the male dominant. The committee felt that was too vague a reference and voted not to recall the plate.
# YRUSTPD - Complaint said the plate read “Why Are You Stupid” (applicant said it read “Why Are You Stopped) and that it was offensive. The committee felt it might be impolite but not offensive and voted not to recall the plate.
# LTN PWR - Complaint said it read “Latin Power” and was offensive. The committee agreed as policy reads the department is prohibited from issuing a plate that “… expresses contempt, ridicule or superiority of race, ethnic heritage … .” The plate is being recalled.
# ENORMS1 - Complaint said it referred to male genitalia. The committee agreed and is recalling the plate based upon policy prohibiting the department from issuing a plate that “is sexual, vulgar, derogatory, profane, or obscene … .” What sunk the motorist was his license plate frame: “Have you ridden an (ENORMS1) lately?”
# DAGORED - Complaint said it slurred people of a national origin, specifically Italians, the committee agreed and recalled the plate.
# SEXRXRR - Complaint said it read “Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll.” The committee agreed and recalled it.
# DYPSYET - Complaint said it was a vulgar reference, the committee agreed and recalled it.

That top one absolutely kills me for various reasons, most of them stemming from me being (literally) twice the mass of the ESO and the ensuing discomfort that would result were I, in fact, the one on top. I’m also trying to figure out what the bottom one means… Do You PiSs YET? Do You PeniS YET? Do You Psychically molest ET? Beats the FORNIK8 out of me.

But wait… it gets better! I present to you the inaugural winner of the Local Nerd Who Needs A Haircut Award!

Not everyone in Nevada is enamored with vanity license plates.

Reno software engineer Tony Morelli has such a distaste for them, in fact, that he’s created a Web site called www.stupidplates.com.

“I think for the people who have them, it’s more like an ego trip,” he said. “They drive around like they own the road.”

The exception, he said, are people who have personalized plates for their businesses.

Look, I’m sure he’s being tongue-in-cheek, and, yes, some vanity plates are annoying. He’s also not advocating for the forcible removal of vanity plates by government edict, near as I can tell. But, I have to be honest here… why do people in the computer industry insist in not getting a haircut? C’mon, man! You’re making the rest of us look bad! Also, what kind of a software engineer makes a site that looks that bad? C’mon, man! I can do a better job than that, and I suck with HTML! Heck, my site looks better than that… well, it looks no worse, anyways. Maybe I should e-mail him with a link to the W3Schools site. I’m going to stop now.

(Note that I’d be more than happy to post his picture here, but I’m not sure what RGJ’s policy on “fair use” is, and I’d rather not find out the hard way… so go click the link to the article. It’s linked in the name of the award. Don’t be lazy!)

(Fine - be lazy. Here it is… right here. Slacker.)

This adage is definitely true when you’re talking about nuclear waste. Currently, nuclear waste is stored on-site at various nuclear power plants throughout the country. Over a decade ago, somebody got the bright idea that, instead of storing all of this waste all over the place, maybe we should put it in one spot. After some “careful” deliberation, they came up with Yucca Mountain, which has numerous advantages:

1. It’s a dormant volcano.
2. It’s located in a state that does not have a nuclear reactor.
3. It’s located within 90 miles of a large metropolitan area (Las Vegas).
4. It’s located in one of the most geologically active states in the Union.

I will point out that, ultimately, it doesn’t matter where you put this stuff - it’s going to be a problem unless we come up with some way to really get rid of it… as in, within this geologic epoch. This is where this article from the Pahrump Valley Times comes into play:

WASHINGTON — Political support for the Yucca Mountain nuclear repository eroded further on Wednesday when a leading Senate advocate of nuclear power said it has become “foolhardy” to continue plans to store radioactive used power plant fuel at the Nevada site.

Sen. Pete Domenici, R-N.M., said the strategy to place spent nuclear fuel underground has become badly outdated in light of advances in waste reprocessing that could wring more energy from the assemblies.

Even after nuclear fuel has been recycled, the resulting waste products may not need to be placed in the Nevada volcanic ridge, he said. At that point, the waste would be less toxic and could be stored safely in salt formations in New Mexico or elsewhere.

“The current strategy of limiting our options to a permanent repository for the disposal of spent fuel is deeply flawed,” Domenici said. He said he was writing a bill that would alter the “Yucca only” approach. “I’m talking about a bill that will start over and draft new law that puts America on a new path for commercial waste,” he said after a Senate Energy and Water Subcommittee hearing on the Yucca Mountain budget.

The Las Vegas Sun also touched on this:

Domenici’s comments came as both Senate and House appropriators this week are considering Energy’s budget requests for the coming year. The department promises to meet its summer deadline for submitting the long-awaited license for the waste dump at Yucca.

In his comments, Domenici’s said he no longer believes focusing solely on a permanent repository in Nevada is the way to go, fearing the Yucca only strategy that does not include efforts to recycle waste is “deeply flawed.” “I believe this path will prove to be the highest cost solution and it fails to take advantage of recycling,” Domenici said. “We should pursue a comprehensive waste strategy led by an approach to recycle spent nuclear fuel with the remaining waste to be put in either Yucca Mountain or another suitable site such as deep salt formations,” such as a site in New Mexico that now stores less toxic waste.

In short, Yucca Mountain may finally expire by mere technological obsolescence… just in time for us to build another round of nuclear power plants so we can stop burning quite as many fossil fuels.

For what it’s worth, I’m all for nuclear power provided we have a way to reuse or safely dispose of the waste. Obviously, it’s kind of hard to safely dispose of something when you have to think of 10,000 year disposal cycles, seeing as humanity has absolutely zero experience at building something that would, in fact, last 10,000 years. Consequently, finding a way to reduce disposal times to within a human lifetime or two, or lowering the radioactivity of the waste to a low enough level where it would be considered completely moot, is much more preferable on my end. However, I don’t see solar, wind, or geothermal providing enough energy on their own to displace oil, natural gas, and coal in any meaningful capacity, so, of the realistic large-scale power sources available to us today, it appears to be the “least bad” of all of them. If we can find some way to make it even less dangerous than it is right now, I’m all for it.

UPDATE: A rather interesting view of nuclear reprocessing can be found at New Scientist… and, by “interesting”, I mean that the article is little more than a series of interviews with various “environmental” agencies that would love nothing more than to keep nuclear power off the table. The crux of the article, though, is that, in 2006, Bush was looking at overturning parts of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Act of 1978, which forbade reprocessing nuclear fuel due to the increased production of plutonium and the possibility of theft of the plutonium in civilian reactors.

In short, we can’t recycle nuclear fuel right now because Carter and the Congress of the time panicked 30 years ago and nobody’s bothered to fix it. It’s already being recycled in Britain, France, Russia, and Japan, which is why they’re not having to deal with Yucca Mountain-style issues.

And people wonder why I want a smaller government…

Now that we’ve covered emus and pedopodiaphiliacs, it’s time to end our Nevada trifecta with the piece de resistance:

From my old home town, Pahrump:

LYNCHBURG, Va. — As part of its American Culture Program, female students and teachers from the prestigious Randolph College will take a 3,000-mile “field trip” to visit the world-famous and historic Chicken Ranch brothel tomorrow.

They will visit the Pahrump business from 10:30 a.m. to approximately 12:30 p.m. to meet with management and some of the “working ladies.”

According to school officials the 12-credit, semester-long program is investigating sex and prostitution as an aspect of American culture — “an intersection where our obsession with beauty and sex meets business and consumption.”

Who wouldn’t want a field trip to a brothel? I wonder if they’re holding a job fair there.

I’ll have to admit, it’s kind of funny watching liberal academic types study a practice that’s been around for, oh, since the dawn of humanity as if it’s some sort of new phenomenon. Here’s hoping their study of prostitution as an aspect of American culture (as opposed to all of the prostitutes in foreign countries that are aspects of their cultures) proves enlightening.

From Elko, Nevada, we have this gem:

ELKO - A Wells man was arrested Wednesday night for allegedly masturbating in front of two children in Wal-Mart.

The two girls, ages 10 and 12, were reportedly in the shoe department at about 6:54 p.m. when Jorge Quintero, 57, allegedly began to masturbate in front of them, Elko Police Lt. Don Zumwalt said.

Either this guy really likes shoes, or he really likes little girls. Maybe he just has a thing for little girls in shoes. No matter which way you look at it, though, this is just not right.

Anyone can blog about Obama, incest, abortion, or whatever. However, where else on the Internet are you going to learn about errant emus?

The Douglas County owner of a runaway emu discovered she was missing the young male last week and was expected to claim him from the Wild Animal Infirmary for Nevada in Washoe Valley.

The flightless bird apparently escaped from his home in Bodie Flats, leaving his parents, and was first seen three weeks ago near the county dump. He traveled across the county, reaching an alfalfa field near Minden Elementary School about a week ago, said Janet Duzen, supervisor at Douglas County Animal Services.

The beauty, of course, is that this was the headline story to an article that also had this:

Female student stabbed on campus

Western Nevada College campus security personnel are asking for assistance locating a young white male reported to have inflicted minor knife wounds on a female student last week.

A female student reported to college security by phone that she was grabbed from behind in the lower east parking lot April 3 at approximately 4:30 p.m. She heard him say “F*** you Michelle,” even though Michelle is not her name.

The suspect had a knife in his left hand and as the victim attempted to pull away, she sustained minor knife wounds to her abdomen and hip.

She fell to the ground scraping her knees. The suspect then slashed at her causing a minor wound to her arm.

The suspect turned her over and when he looked into her face, he backed away and ran in an unknown direction. No vehicle was observed.

According to the victim, the perpetrator was in his 20s, about 6 feet tall with a medium build, no facial hair, and no distinguishing marks or accent.

He was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt with the hood strings tightly drawn, dark Dickie-type pants, and white shoes.

All persons on campus should be observant of his surroundings when in the parking lot.

That’s right - a lost emu is much more important in these parts than a girl getting stabbed.

I love this state.

One of the nice things about Nevada is that it has a relatively low tax rate and, consequently, a fairly small government. For example, in 2006, Nevada ranked 43rd in per-household expenditures. Unfortunately, though Nevada has a relatively small government, it also has a profoundly inept one that can’t seem to spend what limited money it has wisely. Consequently, cost overruns are all too common as Nevada’s legislature signs off on random projects that have a “low” initial cost but, upon implementation, prove to be much more expensive.

The latest example of this? An environmentally-friendly wood-burning power plant… for a prison.

A wood-burning power plant hailed by Nevada officials as an environment-friendly project to save the state money on power bills is beset with so many problems it might cost more than it earns for 17 years.

[…]

At the time, prison officials argued the project would pay for itself within 15 years, power the prison and produce enough excess electricity to sell back to Sierra Pacific Power Co.

An analysis by the Legislative Counsel Bureau, however, said the plant likely will have a negative cash flow for 17 years.

Cost overruns happen. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. However, what’s truly comical about this is the assumptions they made in order to concoct the initial budget number:

Lawmakers were forced Wednesday to approve an emergency $540,000 to hire a contractor to operate the plant because the state doesn’t have qualified staff to run it.

Prison officials planned to have a staff person supervise inmates to run the plant. But they scrapped that plan when it was discovered inmates lacked the technical expertise and would have enough access to the power system to “shut down our facility,” said Lori Bagwell, deputy director of corrections.

That’s right - the entire plan was to have inmates run the plant… because, when you have less common sense in your head than a fruit fly, this makes perfect sense. After all, people that don’t have enough sense to stay out of jail are precisely the kind of people we want running and maintaining complicated machinery. I mean, we wouldn’t trust most of these people to vote or drive a car - why not let them run a power plant, right? Really? Nobody saw a problem with this?

If politicians in this state could be trusted to spend what little money they have wisely, Nevada might be a little less miserly about government expenditures. However, when things like this are the norm, well, can you blame us for being a little cheap?

I check the local paper today, and what do I find? That’s right - someone from my dear home town is suing to keep Hillary Clinton off of the Nevada ballot:

In a lawsuit that legal scholars call “amusing,” a Reno man is seeking to keep U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton off the Nevada ballot with the argument that the U.S. Constitution prohibits a woman from holding the office.

Douglas Wallace, 80, contends that because the U.S. Constitution relies on the pronouns “he” and “his” in describing the duties of the president, no woman can hold the office.

Wallace argues the constitution would have to be amended to specifically allow a female president and accused Clinton of trying to make an “end run around the Constitution.”

“The use of female gendered pronouns ’she’ or ‘her’ are not present in the document, making it conclusive that the framers never intended that a woman would be president of the United States,” Wallace wrote in the lawsuit.

That argument is without merit, several legal scholars said Monday.

I’m no legal scholar and even I’m finding this amusing. Of course, the money shot is at the end:

Turley described the masculine pronoun argument as part of “urban mythology” that is spread on blogs and the Internet.

“It’s a fun subject for blogging, but it’s not very compelling on a legal basis,” Turley said.

I’m beginning to think the Reno Gazette-Journal writing staff is becoming almost prescient. If this article isn’t the very definition of amusing and fun, I don’t know what is.

I’m probably going to stop writing about the flood in Fernley here pretty soon - there’s not a whole lot more to write about at this point. That said, all stories need a conclusion, and it looks like we’re just about there.

First, some good news for those in Fernley - Bush approved federal aid. Meanwhile, Fernley and her neighbors continue to do a stand up job in the rebuilding effort. The best part of this story is that, in the end, the federal government is providing the dessert in the rebuilding process, not the meat. That said, it’s not all positive - renters are hurting due to a lack of flood coverage and FEMA funds being primarily earmarked for homeowners. As a renter myself, I’m definitely sympathetic. If my apartment were to get flooded, I’d lose a lot. I can also understand not buying renter’s insurance, much less adding flood coverage on top of it; most people don’t rent because they’re financially secure, after all.

Meanwhile, courtesy of the RGJ and a little help from Google Maps, here’s a map of the flood damage:

View Larger Map

I can’t argue with my hit count - the Fernley Flood is a popular search, so the least I can do is keep the information flow going. In that vein…

How is it that, every time the federal government gets involved in something, it finds a new and creative way to screw it up? Take the aftermath of the flood, for example. FEMA isn’t sure if they’ll provide aid or not. Meanwhile, somebody owned that levee, and that somebody was the Bureau of Land Management. Of course, in a classic case of bureaucratic chicanery, it’s not the BLM that manages the levee - it’s the Truckee Carson Irrigation District. This, of course, raises the fascinating question of how one maintains a mound of dirt in the first place.

It’s not all bad, though. Where the federal government is doing yet another bang-up job of finding new and creative ways to fail, local and volunteer agencies continue to do an outstanding job of picking up the pieces of people’s lives and helping the victims carry on. If you want to help, feel free to do so - some instructions can be found here. Alternatively, if you’re one of those walking back into your flooded home, you can find some tips here.

As for flood insurance in Nevada, and how that might seem somewhat oxymoronic, be sure to consider the geography of the land you live in. For those of you that haven’t looked at a topo map of the area, Nevada is made up of numerous small valleys. Most of them don’t have any drainage outside of the valleys, which means that, when appreciable precipitation does arrive (and it does, just not yearly), there’s only one place for it to go - the low point of that valley. Even in the parts of Nevada that do have drainage, such as those within the Truckee, Carson, or Humboldt River watersheds, Nevada’s drainage is limited by the nature of the Great Basin, which covers most of the state. Meanwhile, as if being in a giant bowl wasn’t enough, since Nevada’s a desert, the soil is very, very hard, and doesn’t absorb water well. So, let’s recap:

1. No drainage.
2. Even when there is drainage, it drains into an area that has no drainage.
3. Water isn’t absorbed by anything.

When you combine those ingredients with a non-trivial amount of water, the result is going to be… well… this:

And this:

And yes, even this:

Thing is, Nevada isn’t unique. Arizona floods, too. California, meanwhile, is borderline compulsive about getting everything worse than Nevada - floods, fires, earthquakes, you name it. I think it’s just a sad cry for attention, personally.

Checked my SiteMeter today - it turns out that a lot of people are visiting here to find out information on the flood in Fernley and on Reno’s weather in general. So, let’s get to it:

Firstly, parts of Fernley are still a mess. With that in mind, for obvious reasons, Fernley would prefer it if people didn’t turn the flood zone into a tourist trap. They still need to clean up the damage, and having people aimlessly stumble around there isn’t going to help things. The damage looks pretty bad - preliminary estimates figure 290 homes were damaged, and up to 1,500 people were displaced from the flood. For whatever it’s worth, it appears that similar flooding could happen in Reno and Sparks due to our “levee system” being somewhat improvised. When you live in a desert environment, proper runoff handling is frequently one of the last things you think about until it’s too late. Heck, sometimes it takes a couple of tries.

On a slightly more local note, you can get the listing of school closures and delays here:

School Closures and Delays for Monday

Posted: Jan 6, 2008 03:13 PM
Kellene Stockwell
Channel 2 News

The following schools will be closed for Monday, January 7:

* Lake Tahoe Unified School District
* Tahoe-Trucke Unified School District
* All Five Fernley Schools

The following schools will have a two hour delayed start for Monday, January 7:

* All Washoe County Schools except for Gerlach and Incline Schools (Regular Schedule)
* Bishop Manogue Catholic High School
* St. John’s Childrens Center
* Childrens Center at High Desert
* Summit Ridge Christian School
* All Virginia City Schools except for Hillside Elementary (Regular Schedule)
* Our Lady of the Snows
* Long Valley Charter School
* Pyramid Lake High School
* Excel Christian School
* Lion and Lamb Christian School
* Little Flower School
* Milan Institute of Sparks
* Pebbles Preschool in Sparks

On another note, if you wish to support the cause of the Fernley flood victims, you can do it by supporting the Northern Nevada Red Cross. You can find more information here, including who to contact if you require support.

That, I’m sure, is the question that crossed a lot of people’s minds when they turned on their morning news and saw this (ABC News):

Levee Breaks As Storms Pummel West Coast
Nev. Levee Breaks As Storms Pummel West Coast; Hundreds of Thousands Without Power

A ruptured levee sent a frigid “wall of water” from a rain-swollen canal into this high desert town early Saturday, flooding hundreds of homes and forcing the rescue of more than a dozen people by helicopter and boat.

To answer that question: Yes, Nevada has levees. In fact, there’s a fair amount of agriculture that goes on here, supported by some irrigation that, yes, is handled through the use of levees. This was a result of the Newlands Reclamation Act, which Fernley and neighboring Fallon are both heavy beneficiaries of.

Back to the story - a levee breaks. Homes get flooded. This sounds vaguely familiar, right? Surely the rescue work was botched, people started dying, and Bush looked like a tool, right?

Nope.

As the aforementioned ABC story notes,

No injuries were reported in the flood in Fernley, about 30 miles east of Reno, after a section of the Truckee Canal up to 150 feet long broke soon after 4 a.m. As many as 3,500 people were temporarily stranded and more than 100 had gathered Saturday afternoon at a shelter set up at a high school.

That’s right - nobody died. In fact, nobody was injured. So, naturally, the people of Fernley and Northern Nevada waited for FEMA to show up and rescue them, right?

Nope (KTVN). In fact, within a few hours, the neighborhoods were evacuated, the neighboring air station sent a helicopter, the National Weather Service issued a warning, the water was diverted, the levee was quickly rebuilt… the list goes on. Reno and Sparks both sent assistance to Fernley in the form of supplies and manpower. Best of all, this was all done and put into motion long before the politicos began issuing their statements.

Speaking of which, some statements from “notable” political types:

Sen. Hillary Clinton:

“I am deeply concerned and saddened about the reports of severe flooding in Fernley, Nevada this morning as a result of a levee breaking along the Truckee Canal. I am especially concerned given the freezing temperatures and severe snow storm conditions prevailing in the area.

As emergency crews begin their work to evacuate the 3,500 residents who have been displaced from their homes, my thoughts and prayers are with the entire community.”

Sen. Obama:

Today, Senator Barack Obama released the following statement on the Fernley levee break.

“Early this Saturday morning, a 30-foot section of the Truckee Canal levee broke, sending waves of water into the town of Fernley and trapping nearly 4,000 people in their homes. Michelle and I send our thoughts and prayers to the victims of this sudden disaster, and we honor the swift and heroic response from rescue organizations, including the Fallon Naval Air Station. I have asked my staff and supporters in the area to take time out from campaigning this weekend to assist in the relief efforts.”

Donation of blankets and clothing can be dropped off at the Reno Obama for America Headquarters at 141 East Pueblo Street, Suite B.

Sen. Reid, Sen. Ensign, and Congressman Heller:

U.S. Senators Harry Reid and John Ensign, and Representative Dean Heller of Nevada issued the following statements regarding the broken levee in Fernley.

“I spoke with Mayor Cutler today and promised him we would do everything possible to ensure the people of Fernley get the federal resources they need to help the community recover as quickly as possible,” said Reid. “We recognize that long after the flood waters recede there will still be a lot of work to do and my office will work with federal, state and local agencies to ensure that the community returns to pre-flood conditions and that this never happens again. I also extend my deepest gratitude toward all the first responders who are doing a great job getting people out of harm’s way.”

“My thoughts and prayers are with all of the families and communities impacted by this serious emergency. It is my hope that we can continue to move people out of harm’s way and into safety as quickly as possible. The Nevada Congressional Delegation is ready to assist the Governor and the people of Fernley to ensure that we have all the necessary resources to help those in need,” said Senator John Ensign.

“My heartfelt condolences go out to the residents of Fernley who have been affected by this flood. The Nevada delegation stands by the City of Fernley and we’ll do everything we can to help those affected by this disaster and fix the levees,” said Heller.

Meanwhile, the Reno Gazzette-Journal is maintaining a timeline for the Fernley flood. On a slightly more regional note, the RGJ is also maintaining a map of road closures, sandbag locations, and more. Since it’s also hosted on Google Maps, you can also see it here:

View Larger Map

All snarkiness aside, I do realize there’s a big difference in scale between what happened in New Orleans and Fernley. I just find the differences in reactions very interesting.