8 Places Somebody Else Probably Lost Their Virginity

One of my coworkers alerted me about this:

The 8 Places You Probably Lost Your Virginity

You always remember where you were when you lost your virginity, and most of the time you wish you could forget it.

It’s an amusing list, if nothing else; feel free to click on it.  That said, since I have nothing better to do, let’s go through it:

8. THE BATHROOM OF A FRAT HOUSE

The one problem with this list is that there are tons of these that only happen in college, or at least around college types.  Near as I can tell, there really aren’t a whole lot of people these days that wait that long - heck, I know that half of my high school class lost their virginity by middle school.  Then again, when you live in a town full of pedophiles and space aliens, well, that sort of thing is bound to happen.  That said… I don’t know too many people that had sex in the bathroom of a frat house.  The hallway, a closet, the backyard, one of the many bedrooms, the living room in front of everyone… these are all believable.  The bathroom?  I’m not so sure.

7. SPRING BREAK

One of these days, I’m going to launch into a tirade about how much the whole “spring break” phenomenon would piss me off I wasn’t so paralyzingly apathetic.  That said, I just don’t feel like getting into it right now.

6. HOTEL AFTER PROM

This I can believe.  I think this is how the other half of my class lost their virginity… y’know, the half that didn’t exercise their carnal lusts between 7th and 8th grades.

Except for me.  See, I lost mine…

5. BACKSEAT OF A CAR

It was the back seat of a 1994 Dodge Shadow, to be more specific, and, when you’re 6′2″, finding a place to put your legs is a bit of a challenge.  That said, in those days, Dodge knew how to make a small car that still had a little room, so I was still able to pull it off.  In other words, it wasn’t uncomfortable like the back seat of a Volkswagen.

As another aside, station wagons are so much better for this sort of thing.

4. CONFESIONAL BOOTH

Heh… heh heh… praise the Lord and pass the birth control?

3. PARENT’S BASEMENT

Yeah, I can see this.  That said, I think the parent’s bedroom is probably a little more common.

(Who says being a latchkey kid doesn’t have its advantages?)

2. TOP BUNK AT SUMMER CAMP

As someone who went to band camp, this sort of thing was surprisingly common, and it always went down the way it was described here.  Without fail, it was always an older woman and a younger guy.  The male counselors were so deathly afraid they’d end up in jail if they pulled a stunt like this that they did a wonderful job of behaving themselves, at least during camp - not so much with the women.  I never understood (and, frankly, still don’t) what a college-age girl would get out of a high school-age guy; I mean, we’re talking about a hair trigger here, y’know?  I guess they might be a little easier to train or something… *shrug*

1. EUROPE

Really, any foreign land will do… and, for the record, you don’t have to go to Spain or Italy or wherever to go to a brothel.  We have plenty of fine, legal, clean brothels here in the State of Nevada, and I strongly encourage anyone seeking a paid companion to stop by.

(This message was brought to you by the Nevada State Brothel & Tourism Commission.)

Canned Bacon

Oh God Yes.

For the first time in almost 20 years, canned bacon is back in this Country. Not available in any store!

You want a picture, don’t you?  Of course you do.

Follow the link for more info.  This looks like absolute genius right here.  The only regret I have is that it’s $109.95 for a case, or $9.16 a can.  That’s some really expensive bacon right there.  That said, it’s at times like this that I wish I was a big enough blogger to get free samples of stuff… sigh…

Your Moment of Zen

Courtesy of XKCD:

NOTE: Yes, I even got the title on that thing, so, for those unfamiliar with XKCD, don’t be afraid to hover your mouse over the comic.

Funniest Paragraph of the Day

From Cardozaisms:

What kind of bad blow have you been snorting? Seriously…maybe if we sacrifice a virgin to the mountain she’ll relent; makes just as much sense! You know what works for me? You moving your stinky hippie self out of my state!!! Seriously, I have heard some dumb, ignorant brain sludge in my day, but that has got to be one of the most unfounded and ignorantly stupefying loads of liberal guilt-ridden tripe to come out of my hometown since the last time Jack Carter spoke here. In fact, I’m still not sure I’m completely grasping your unfathomable idiocy. But let me try, try, to take this thing point-by-grueling point…

Seriously - he’s funny when he’s angry.

Best Headline Ever

From the BBC:  Great Tits Cope Well With Warming

They sure do, especially on a cold winter day.  That said, running a small cube of ice on them from time to time can be fun under an appropriate set of circumstances…

Geese will mess you up, yo.

Found this via Fazed:

We have a ton of those geese in Reno. Canada may be nice and peaceful most of the time, but their geese are cruel and vicious vermin.

The goggles! They do nothing!

I hate you, Ace.  I really do.

Finally: Colleges Allowing Coed Dorm Rooms

What’s the worst that can happen?

The answer?  This.

Sweet Zombie Jesus… the ugly just doesn’t stop, does it?  It’s seriously a postmodern mobius strip of ugly.  I can’t take it.  Sure, it answers the question that nobody was asking about whether an emasculated gay man and a raving feminist can live together, but, damn it, some questions just shouldn’t be answered.

Good timing

It turns out I’m fairly involved in work-related activities today, which works out reasonably well since there isn’t a whole lot worth blogging about at the moment.

Some of the highlights:

- Pajamas Media is keeping a running tab on the Pennsylvania primaries. Hint: Clinton is going to win… but by how much?
- Zimbabwe’s neighbors are continuing the ongoing arms embargo against Zimbabwe. I couldn’t be happier. One interesting factoid is that it’s precisely this sort of arms embargo that eventually led to the collapse of the white-dominated regime led by Ian Smith.
- I was going to post something about Earth Day, but Google News currently doesn’t have anything on it on the front page. I think that pretty well nails down how relevant it is during this day and age. For better or worse, environmentalism isn’t a lifestyle or a religion for anyone anymore, save for a few diehards; instead, it’s something that people choose to engage in when it suits them. Like most anything else that touches are shores, it’s been absorbed into our greater culture, sort of like Tex-Mex Lasagna. We take what we want, cast aside the rest, and make sure a few people are going full-bore so we have something to stare at from time to time.
- China tells France that “All Our Dalai Lama Belong To Us - Not Yours”. France surrenders.
- Thanks to Dear Leader and the Porke Idea, this site’s traffic has hit yet another all-time per month high. I’m sitting at 883 hits for the month, beating last month’s record-setting 849. By the looks of things, I should be sniffing 1,000 by the end of the month, which is an extremely encouraging milestone, and I couldn’t have done it without you!

That’s it for now. Send some suggestions to the e-mail address at the upper-right if there’s something really scratching your fancy.

Living in a Stalinist Wonderland

I don’t remember where I found this today, unfortunately, but find it I did… The Vice Guide to North Korea is a fourteen part series in which a couple of intrepid reporters go to North Korea and film the parts that North Korea wants them to film. That might not seem particularly impressive, except what the regime wants them to film says a lot about the regime. For example, you can see the Pueblo, visit both sides of the DMZ, check out the Pyongyang Metro (yep - it works!), see their barrage (interestingly, not listed as one of the three uses of barrage-based tidal power in the world on Wikipedia), and more.

Now all I need to do is figure out where in my RSS feeds I stumbled across this…

UPDATE: Found it - turns out I got it from Ace! Sweet.

We need more schadenfreude today

Thank you, Fazed, for bringing me the funniest compilation of journalism mishaps I’ve seen in a long, long time. Sadly, there’s no easy way to embed the video, which is supremely disappointing, but if you enjoy laughing at other people’s misfortune, well, today is your lucky day.

I will give one teaser: Cat in the face.

That is all.

I have returned…

To remind you why you come back here, I give you this:

It’s good to be home.

Brilliant!

Ah, the joys of the bacon bra… an absolutely glorious if unholy union of pork and breast.

I guess this proves that everything is better with bacon, right?

I wish

Powered By Vibrating Toy

Screw it - I’m quitting my day job!

Traffic

It’s time to make some comparisons…

My traffic - I should have visited it once last night so I’d have an even 850 for the month. Thanks to everyone for showing up!

Rachel Lucas’s traffic - Her site is a bit busier than mine, but it’s still nothing compared to…

Instapundit - The granddaddy of them all. He’s only getting, oh, 8800 times the traffic that I am, give or take. Wow.

RSS readers are a tool of the devil

I’ve noticed that I need to branch out my reading selections a bit - I mean, you can only read Instapundit, Rachel Lucas, and Slashdot for so long before you just have to step out of your comfort zone. Granted, I hit Google News fairly frequently, as well as Fark, but still… something was lacking. I needed a bigger picture of the world. Unfortunately, my mind has a limited memory capacity, and bookmarks just weren’t cutting it - yeah, I could go to the sites, but I never knew if there was anything worth reading ahead of time.

Annoyed by this, I got an RSS reader. It wasn’t hard - since I run Ubuntu, I could just do a nice, quick search in Add/Remove Programs, which is where I found PenguinTV. Works great, at least when it’s not hanging while I try to add another feed… like right now.

To be honest, I’ve been playing with it for the past few weeks now. Works great, no complaints… except for one - I can now read way more than I used to. I can now keep track of all of the tech blogs I’ve always wanted to keep track of. I could now keep track of all the other ancillary blogs that I’ve seen that I wasn’t motivated enough to visit daily but which I wanted to keep track of. Sounds great, right? Well, it was… until I received an idea:

I’m going to add every single blog in Rachel Lucas’ blogroll to my RSS feeds.

It seemed only fair. She added me to her roll, so the least I could do is help support my fellow blogroll compatriots by seeing what they have to say. Besides, since she gets a fair amount of her material from those sites, maybe I could preempt her once in a while. It’d be my way of getting inside her decision loop or something.

Sounds great, right? Where’s the problem? Well, there isn’t one… except, of course, that she has tons of blogs in her blogroll, so now I have the better part of 60+ blogs sitting in my syndication list. That’s a lot of blogs to keep track of. I’m at 65 right now and I’m only on the P’s. I’m going to be pushing near 90 by the time I’m done subscribing to them all.

That said, I am discovering something. Most blogs appear to be more than happy to allow RSS feeds, but not all of them. Some of them are “members only”. Some of them require you to send them an e-mail, at which point they’ll send you the feed. Some don’t have a feed at all. I do understand that many of them derive income from ads, so, consequently, they don’t want you reading their blog unless you can view their ads. The key, however, is not to restrict access to the RSS feed - just don’t give away the whole enchilada. Give out the first 100 words or something, but don’t make it more difficult than necessary for others to access your site. That’s only going to hurt your traffic in the long run… I know that because, well, if you’re one of those blogs that plays games with RSS feeds, I’m not going to visit you. I just don’t have time to check on you from time to time. I’m sorry.

Next up: How to back up my RSS feeds… Hardy Heron is coming out soon, and I’m looking forward to trying it. I’m not going to do it, though, if I don’t have some way of backing up all of my data, including things like RSS feeds and the like… I’m sure there’s an XML file sitting in my home folder somewhere.

We need more geekiness

Thankfully, one of my friends is more than happy to oblige… I bring to you the latest addition to my blogroll:

Cardozaisms

It’s the musings of a college professor who is just so slightly better educated than I am… and a little more verbose. You’ll never see a critique of FDR’s administration like this again.

Enjoy!

This is far too cool

Of course, by “cool”, I mean, “geeky as hell.”

Glenn Reynolds, the irascible law professor of Instapundit fame, enjoys throwing little articles like this at his unwitting readership. After digging a little further into the article, I found this…

Lord of the Rings as Property Law

Let’s take a hit of that, shall we?

The novel The Lord of the Rings was a phenomenon. The movie trilogy based upon it has grossed over a billion dollars and won a slew of Oscars.

But what’s really interesting about the work is that it is about property law.

Seems Like a Property Exam

Consider the following facts which seem ripped from a first year property law exam:

1. Sauron holds ownership in the Ring through accession, by working one thing (base metals) into a new thing (a ring of power)
2. He is dispossessed by Isildur, who now holds possession in the Ring.
3. Isildur loses the Ring (he has a manifest intent to exclude others but no physical control) when it slips off his finger as he was swimming in the Auduin river to escape from Orcs.
4. Déagol finds the Ring.
5. He is dispossessed by Sméagol (a.k.a. Gollum).
6. Gollum loses the Ring and it is finally found by Bilbo.
7. Bilbo gifts the Ring to Frodo. Later, Aragorn (the heir of Isildur) tells Frodo to carry the ring to Mordor, making Frodo his bailee.
8. Sam, assuming that Frodo is dead, takes the Ring according to instructions to help Frodo with the Ring in grave circumstances. Sam is acting here as a (fictional) bailee and he returns possession to Frodo after finding him still alive.
9. At the end of the book, Gollum restores his possession of the ring. Seconds later, he and the Ring are both destroyed. At this point all property held in the Ring disappears.

The article then proceeds to explain whether or not Sauron has a legal right to claim The Ring as his property. Go ahead and read the article - I’m not spoiling the ending for you.

This does make me wonder what other novels and pieces of literature can be examined with a purely legalistic mind. Would an examination of the legal constructs of 1984 be compelling? What about a legalistic examination of Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan?

Oooh… I just got goosebumps thinking about that last one. Who, in fact, really owns the Genesis device? Is it Dr. Carol Marcus? The United Federation of Planets? Khan Noonian Singh? Based on that analysis of the LoTR in the above post, it would seem that Khan is merely a possessor. What gets interesting, however, is that the UFP did, in fact, grant resources towards the construction of the Genesis Device (namely, the U.S.S. Reliant, among other things), so, depending on the terms of the grant provided to Dr. Marcus, the UFP may have sole legal ownership of the Genesis Device.

I’m stopping now.

Fitna

Thanks to Instapundit, I watched Fitna… and you can, too:

Note - scroll down to the bottom to actually view the video. If you want to find out why LiveLeak pulled it, feel free to press play at the embedded video here.

I just finished watching it, so my thoughts still aren’t quite set in stone yet. I can tell you that it is an extremely persuasive video. It makes its point well - there are a lot of militant Muslims and their beliefs are supported by the Koran. Of course, there are plenty of other non-Muslim groups that have beliefs backed up by scripture, too… like these guys:

There is a very distinct and profound difference, though… well, actually, two differences, though they are both interrelated. First, the Westboro Baptist Church, “fine” organization that it is, still hasn’t killed anyone or blown anything up. They’ve done just about everything short of that, mind you, and believe me when I tell you that I take great pride in the fact that they have chosen Reno, my home town, for special consideration. The second difference, though - and this is the most important - is why they haven’t blown anything up. It’s because they’re the fringe and they know it. They know that, if they try any sort of serious terrorism, the entire culture of the United States will come down on them with a power and a fury that will turn their little group into a sad historical footnote. The trouble with Muslim fundamentalists, especially in Europe, is that they either are the fringe and nobody’s bothered to tell them or that they really aren’t the fringe. In the end, it really doesn’t matter - the end result is the same. They kill people, blow up buildings, engage in “honor” killings, mutilate female genitalia, and all the other stupid, barbaric things they do because nobody has stopped them.

In order to stop people like this, you have to be willing to accept the fact that you and your culture are, in fact, superior to theirs in every conceivable way. You have to make it clear to them that they may say whatever they want (I mean that, by the way - they must be able to do that) but they have to play by the same rules as everyone else. If they try to engage in “honor” killings, you charge them and convict them with murder. If they try to mutilate a woman’s genitalia, you lock them up for (if nothing else) practicing medicine without a license. If they try to teach their kids how to hate, you take their children away from them. In short, you make it very clear that they can make as much noise as they want, but the instant they go one step past that, they will be dealt with.

It’s the only way.

EDIT: It would seem that LiveLeak has taken the video down. Thankfully, Google has rescued us from ourselves once more:

I don’t think that word means what you think it means

Courtesy of Instapundit, I stumbled across an article from Power Line titled Higher Education in Minnesota. There was one line, however, that really caught my attention:

7 p.m.: Dr. Ward Churchill, genocide scholar, ”Genocide and the Dakota People”

Genocide? I’m not sure it qualifies as a genocide when I drive one. Seriously. We also haven’t killed off the Comanche or the Cherokee, either. Of course, it does make me wonder… does Volkswagen make a mid-sized truck called a Jew? ‘Cause that would be hilarious if they did… y’know, in a dead baby joke sort of way. Come to think of it, though, I guess it would be a VW Juden… hmm… that reminds me of a darkly funny joke I heard - it starts with, “How many Jews fit into a Volkswagen?”

(Note: New rule, effective immediately - No posting on latent caffeine rushes past midnight. I’m liable to piss myself off, to say nothing of the dozens of people that read this thing.)

(Another note: I’m going to try to keep my Holocaustic wit to myself from here on out.)

Redistricting - The Game!

It’s amazing the kinds of things you find when you stumble around aimlessly on line… like this gem:

The ReDistricting Game

Haven’t tried it yet, but it looks very interesting. Plus, it mentions the State of Jefferson, though I have no idea yet if it has to do with the “real” State of Jefferson.

The 1970s really WERE a black hole

I don’t know which is worse - the show, or the commercials. The International Women Garment Workers Union commercial was particularly disturbing.

Without further ado… I present to you… the Star Wars Holiday Special.