Let’s run through the checklist of all that is funny:

1. Does it make fun of Canadians?  Yep.
2. Does it involve Mounties?  Yep.
3. Does it involved a disabled lesbian steed?  Yep.
4. Is there a transgender Native American involved?  Yep.

Then, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Iowahawk’s latest foray into playwriting is nothing short of brilliant… sort of like poutine.  I don’t care what anybody says, combining gravy, cheese curds, and french fries is brilliant.  Do not deny the brilliance!

Oh Canada… when will your wackiness end?

A larger than life Canadian drug dealer has had his jail term cut - because the jail is not dealing with his 430-pound weight.

Michel Lapointe has already served 20 months behind bars awaiting sentencing in what his lawyer described as horrible conditions.

There are two ridiculous parts about this story.  First, that it’s possible to become too fat for jail - when the jail is in charge of every prisoner’s diet, how on Earth is it possible to feed someone enough to become too fat to remain in jail?  Did it not occur to someone to maybe cut his portion of poutine?

(As an aside, am I the only one that finds the concept of french fries covered with melted cheese curds and gravy far too delicious to contemplate?)

The second ridiculous part, though, is that he was in jail for 20 months awaiting sentencing.  Apparently, the Canadian judicial system is about as clogged as their medical system, requiring upwards of two years just to figure out how long someone should be incarcerated for.  I’d be curious to see how they handle sentencing that’s less than the period the prisoner was incarcerated for - do they get some “comp time” if they commit another crime?

I’d love to say something witty and creative about Canada and their human rights commissions, but I think Ezra Levant nailed it. Instapundit, as always, is doing an excellent job of keeping people abreast, including links to the video of the interrogation, Ezra’s opening statement, and more.

To quickly summarize: Ezra Levant was the publisher for the Western Standard when they published the Danish Mohammed cartoons a couple of years ago. Naturally, somebody got offended (a “Muslim” imam, as it turns out) and complained to the Alberta Human Rights Commission. Now the Commission is attempting to determine why Ezra published the cartoons and whether or not he meant to incite hatred against Muslims. Ezra’s argument, naturally enough, is that it doesn’t matter why he said it, he has the right to say what he wants.

I know I’m not stepping on any controversial ground here (not controversial, anyways, to those that actually subscribe to some of the values of the Enlightenment), but I, for one, wish Ezra luck, thank him for his strong stand against those bureaucrats, and hope he continues to give such stirring speeches. Maybe we should import him and let him run for President - heck, I’d vote for him.

Iran is apparently feeling frisky - it’s calling out Canada for human rights violations:

UNITED NATIONS — In a bid to discredit Canada at the United Nations, Iran is equipping world diplomats with a 70-page booklet on Canada’s alleged human rights violations. Written by Iran “in the name of God,” the document asserts that the Canadian government denies its people food, clean water and the right to work.

“To the great dismay of the international community, it is a great concern that the rights of women are violated, and no serious attention has been paid in promotion and protection of women’s rights in Canada.”

Now, don’t get me wrong - I’m not saying Canada is perfect. I mean, they still believe in hockey, among other things, which is just wrong and immoral. However, Iran lecturing Canada about women’s rights is quite comical, though Iran is relatively progressive compared to, say, Saudi Arabia. Then again, being progressive regarding women’s rights compared to Saudi Arabia is somewhat akin to being progressive towards Jewish rights compared to the Nazis…

Wait - is it possible for me to Godwin my own post? Crap - it looks like I’ve done it! Well, I guess I’m done, then.

A couple days ago, a friend of mine and I came up with a simply brilliant idea. If you’ve ever been or lived in the western half of the country, you’re probably quite familiar with Cinco de Mayo, a celebration of Mexican pride that is somewhat synonymous to Texas’ odd fascination with The Alamo. The basic premise is similar to St. Patrick’s Day - it’s a good excuse for a lot of drinking, a lot of Mexican cultural pride, and some strange music. Trouble is, for some Mexicans, cultural pride doesn’t begin or end on May 5th - on the contrary, some of them will raise Mexican flags and such.

What’s the problem? It’s a free country. They’re allowed to do what they want, right? Absolutely, and I have zero desire in interfering in their exercise of their right to free speech. That said, this is America, and if Mexico was really worth celebrating, why did you move here?

So, without further ado, the idea…

My friend and I have decided that it’s high time for me to celebrate my Canadian heritage. This may come as a shock to those of you (all two of you that read this blog, including me), but my father’s side of the family immigrated into the US from Canada. This can be proven by the existence of such family landmarks as Port Colborne, among other things. So, to honor that, I’m going to learn all about my Canadian heritage and celebrate it the same way some Mexicans celebrate their heritage. I’m going to use Victoria Day as an excuse to get drunk, sing “Oh, Canada!”, and bust out a big Canadian flag. I’m going to learn about hockey. I will possess a basic knowledge and understanding of curling. I will even learn how to eat like a Canadian.

(By the way… is there anything Wikipedia does NOT have? They actually have a section on Canadian FOOD? Amazing!)

Yes, folks… for one year, starting next year, this Presidential candidate will flaunt his Canadian-ness with pride!