Today, I’m going in a slightly different direction. Instead of writing about something that nerds like, I’m going to touch on something nerds hate. Today’s lesson in hate:

Social Networking Sites

You meet someone. You’re not sure if they’re cool or not - they seem a little quirky, but, at first, that seems kind of interesting. They’re able to talk intelligently about just about every topic you throw at them. You decide you must keep in touch with this person, so you ask them if they have a Facebook account.

They say no.

Hmm, you think to yourself, that’s strange. All of you other friends have Facebook accounts. Maybe this person is just a Myspace holdover and hasn’t bothered to migrate yet. It’s been a while since you’ve signed in, of course, but now you might have an excuse to check in again. So, you ask them what their Myspace user name is.

They don’t have one.

Twitter? Denied. Now this person is starting to look pained and a little annoyed. Well, okay, you think to yourself, let’s ask this person how they keep track of their friends. Surely they have some mechanism available to them to let 1,247 of their closest friends know what’s going on in their lives. Maybe this person just uses Livejournal or something.

“Livejournal?” he snorts. “You’re kidding, right?”

Now you’re getting pissed. He’s starting to sound awfully condescending, and you’re not appreciating it much. Plus, you’re discovering that this new, interesting person you met seems to not care how their friends find about them. However, as a last ditch effort, you decide you’ll ask this new person how they keep track of their friends and vice-versa. What site does this person use?

The new person relaxes for a second. You can tell that they are very relieved you asked that question, though you don’t understand why just yet. Then, they give you their answers, and you’ve never heard of any of them. They start talking about Usenet. They mention that they have a blog on a web server that’s operating out of their closet. At about the point that they begin to explain what patches they made to Apache in order to get their customized installation of Wordpress going, you realize something:

You’ve met a nerd.

Nerds despise social networking sites for a variety of reasons. This much is fairly well documented. Most nerds have issues with how it makes “advanced” technology like web pages accessible, and how that will lead to the end of all civilization.  This has been the mantra of nerds for at least as long as AOL has been a household name, and there’s a very good reason for this:  Whenever somebody gets on to something like Myspace, Facebook, AOL, Geocities, or whatever and it breaks/doesn’t do what they think it should/they can’t get it to do what they want it to do/etc., who do they call to fix it?  That’s right - the nerd. After a while of this, the nerd gets rather tired of dealing with these issues, most of which would have been prevented if, in their mind, the person would’ve just used some basic common sense and did “simple” things like finding the checksum of that program they downloaded and seeing if it matches the number the manufacturer provides, or setting up SSH tunnels to key sites, or checked to see if their HTML syntax conformed to the latest W3C standards.  That the person they’re trying to help has no idea what a checksum is or what an SSH tunnel is just reinforces their belief that (insert social networking site here) is a haven of illiterate, drooling morons who are not fit for breeding stock.

When dealing with a nerd, it’s important to remember that, if you require them to be remotely helpful, it’s important to not come off as a drooling moron.  Consequently, avoid mentioning social networking sites around one.  If you must, try to couch it with rationalizes such as, “Well, I wouldn’t be on there, but my family is on there and it’s the only way I can keep track of them.”  Be sure to declare any feature that allows someone to talk or interact with you as “annoying” and “frustrating”.  This will tell the nerd that you’re in it to make your friends and family happy, and not because you’re a drooling moron - this will cause a feeling of minor sympathy to well up in the nerd, which can be used to extract favors and tech support.

I’ve been putting this off just about long enough…

It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed,
the lips acquire stains.
The stains become a warning.
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
- Piter De Vries, Dune (Movie)

There are some things in life that are just meant to go together.  Peanut butter and jelly, prime rib and horseradish, Twinkies and bacon drippings - individually, each item is good, but when you put them together, the result is far greater than the sum of their parts.  No combination is this more true than nerds and caffeine.

Caffeine, of course, is a mild stimulant.  If the world was forced to make a choice between running without caffeine or running without oil, it would undoubtedly mean the end of human civilization as we know it.  The group that would suffer the most, though, would be the nerd.  Without caffeine, nerds are intelligent humans that have to go to bed at decent times.  With caffeine, nerds can engage in superhuman feats of brilliance, designing the structures that make modern civilization possible by day, then playing video games that allow them to pretend they’re breaking them apart at night.  Without caffeine, a weekend-long level grind becomes nearly impossible.

It’s true that there are other stimulants in the world.  The beauty of caffeine, though, is that, compared to other stimulants, it’s much less harmful in large quantities, it’s much easier to control and maintain dosage, and it is both cheap and plentiful.  For nerds, who are frequently both cheap and control-hungry, caffeine is the perfect stimulant, providing the control they need at a price they’re willing to afford.

When offering caffeine to a nerd, be sure to check with the nerd to find out how they prefer to have it administered.  Younger nerds will frequently gravitate towards energy drinks and soda to meet their needs.  Older nerds will lean towards coffee.  Generally speaking, the older the nerd, the more reactionary they will behave regarding the level of sugar with their caffeine.  This UserFriendly strip illustrates this point perfectly.

First, an aside - things are doing well enough here where I can get into limited blogging duty, at least for now.  Don’t be surprised if things are a little intermittent around here, though - much of this depends on what time I have left between helping out with the newborn and the ESO.  Don’t count on much.

I wasn’t sure when or where to put this one.  What I do know is that, thanks to the various nooks and crannies of nerd culture, we’re going to be taking a trip down Science Fiction lane a lot.  For now, let’s just introduce the basics:

As we’ve touched on earlier, nerds like things that blow up and things that, well, blow up, if you get my drift.  Most science fiction fulfills the former with aplomb - look up the Wikipedia page on the Death Star for confirmation.  Sometimes, there’s even some eye candy, which does a reasonable enough job of satisfying the need for things that blow up.  There is, however, one additional aspect in science fiction that ropes nerds in, an aspect that taps into their role playing side - the aspect of escapism.

Good science fiction is easy to escape into for nerds for a couple of reasons:

1. Nerds are almost always the heroes.  Even when they’re not the main hero, they at least serve very important roles as support, providing much needed savvy and knowledge to the hero when it’s needed most.  Capt. Spock fits this mold perfectly.
2. The science fiction universe, whatever that universe entails, is big - really, really big.  This is perfect for a nerd, for each bit of that universe is another random esoteric bit of knowledge to sponge up and disgorge upon the unwitting masses at random, inopportune moments.  These esoteric bits of knowledge can also be used to determine who is nerdier; the person with the most bits of knowledge, of course, wins.

So, in science fiction, nerds have an expansive universe in which their superior knowledge and ability to retain as much knowledge about that universe as possible would be a serious advantage - an advantage that, if one were to play their cards right, would lead to them getting the girl, even if she would turn out to be his sister or something.  Of course, the reason this need for escapism exists is because the real universe is nowhere near as kind - more often than not, the hero is a mindless windbag who wouldn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground, but just so happens to have just enough charisma to convince everyone around him to cover for his ass and save the day for him, all while he gets the glory and the green chicks and…

In future features, we’ll dig into some of the particulars, such as some popular sci-fi franchises and conventions.

It’s a well documented fact of life that white people enjoy most things Japan.  In fact, the following is also documented there:

Many white nerds are into anime, so being too into this can be seen as a negative by white people.

What is it about anime that fascinates nerds?  If you ask a nerd, they will give many thoughtful, compelling, and complicated reasons, many of which will focus on the intricate artwork, creative story lines, and incredible character development compared to American animation.  All of these reasons, however, are a front - like most things nerd, their enjoyment of anime is much simpler and easier to understand than they like to let on.  To understand why nerds enjoy anime, you need to understand what anime is always about:

1. Robots
2. Girls

That’s pretty much it.  Anime robots bring violence, which leads to things blowing up - nerds love when things blow up.  Girls, meanwhile lead to boobs and sex, and, well, who doesn’t love boobs or sex?  Best of all, since anime isn’t restricted by physical reality or American standards of decency, the robots and girls can be drawn to exquisite standards of impossible physical perfection and do pretty much anything that Japanese people can think of… and, believe me, Japanese people think of some really, really strange things for robots and girls to do together.

When discussing anime with nerds, it’s vitally important to remember a few basic rules:

1. If it’s on Cartoon Network, it’s not “good” anime.  Many of the same rules that apply to white people and Indie Music apply to nerds and anime.  The harder it is to get, the “better” it is.  Bonus points if it’s fan dubbed and only found at conventions.
2. Since anime is rather expensive, getting a nerd some anime that fills a hole in his or her collection is a gift that will be held in high esteem.
3. Be careful about hentai!  Different nerds have different tastes, and, depending on how the nerd feels about you, a gift of hentai may send the wrong signals.  Do not give a nerd any remotely erotic anime if you are in a gender that the nerd prefers to have sexual relations with unless you are planning to have sexual relations with that nerd. Failing to remember that will anger the nerd, who will then proceed to hold a lifelong grudge against you and start doing things like “accidentally” wiping your hard drive or replacing your household fuses with highly conductive materials.  Also, if a nerd asks if you’re interested in watching hentai with them and you’re a member of their preferred gender, assume they want to sleep with you and react accordingly.

Followup: Yes, I know - La Blue Girl is more about tentacles than robots.  The point still stands.

Nerds love free stuff.  There’s no denying it.  If you give a nerd something for free, it honestly doesn’t matter what it is, they will take it.  It could be a Sex & The City box set, it could be a bag of cow dung, it could even be a EGR valve for an ‘88 Yugo; they will take it and find something to do with it.  Nothing is too obscure for a nerd to take for free and keep around the house well beyond its shelf life.  A catastrophic side effect of this, of course, is that their living and working spaces begin to resemble a New York garbage scow.  There will be computer parts for computers that haven’t been made in 20 years, technical manuals that haven’t been relevant in 30, t-shirts that were fashionably unacceptable to wear at the conference they got them from 10 years ago, copies of OS/2, and so on.

Some basic rules of etiquette when dealing with nerds and free stuff:

• Never suggest to the nerd that they should get rid of any of the free stuff.  Most will take it in good humor, but it will only build up stubbornness and resistance to the idea that they should, in fact, get rid of any of that stuff.  The rest will start throwing the free stuff at you in fits of violent anger.
• If you give a nerd some free stuff, they will be indebted to you for a period of time directly proportional to the level of weirdness, obscurity, and uselessness of the item.  An OEM copy of Windows Vista, for example, might earn you a trip to the liquor store.  An OEM copy of Windows NT 3.1, on the other hand, may earn you a permanent, on-call designated driver, available 24/7/365.  Keep in mind, however, that this depends on what is already in the nerd’s collection - the older the nerd, the greater his or her collection, and the harder it is to impress or please the nerd.  Consequently, it’s best to give nerds weird and obscure items when they’re still young enough to appreciate them and lose some of them while moving into and out of college dorm rooms.  That said, older nerds, when impressed, can do far more useful things for you than the younger nerds.  You pay a higher price, but, if you need the goods, it’s worth it.

Nerds love role playing. There are so many different kinds of role playing that Wikipedia, the encyclopedic holder of all information nerdy, that they have a multi-part section on the subject. They even put together really nerdy videos, like this one:

What is it about role playing that excites nerds so?  It’s all about escapism, a theme that will be replayed ad nauseum within fairly short order around here.  Nerds spend much of their lives wishing they were somewhere else doing something else, preferably somewhere where their abilities to memorize random bits of arcana and trivia will pay off.  Since that universe doesn’t really exist outside of a Jeopardy! set, nerds have to make one up.

In most cases, role playing for nerds either takes place in an imaginary future or an imaginary past, or at least an imaginary world with elements from either the past or the future.  Sometimes, just to complicate things a little, nerds will mix the two.  The end result, however, is always the same - a world where arcane, obscure knowledge reigns supreme, where any feat of strength can be easily overcome by a proportional feat of intelligence.  From there, the only question remaining is how immersing of an experience the nerd is looking for.  Role playing can be as consuming as dressing up in funny outfits, and as ordinary as sitting at a desk with five of their closest friends, rolling numbered geometrical shapes around, while scribbling on sheets of paper containing strange, inscrutable tables.

Categorically speaking, nerds engaged in role playing should never, under any circumstances, be approached in a way that is contrary to the customs and traditions of whatever world they think they’re belonging to at that moment.  Failing to respect this rule may result in mild violence, or at least a whiny talking to about how you are “no fun” and “unwilling to play along”. When addressing a nerd engaged in role play, it’s vitally important that you address the nerd as if he or she was convincingly successful in bringing their world “to life”.  This is a very similar dynamic to a certain group of white people and traveling - bursting a nerd’s illusion about their ability to bring an imaginary world to life will lead to a very unhappy nerd, along with all of the consequences inherent in such a change of emotional state.

For most people, beer is beer.  You take grain, hops, water, and yeast, you brew it, then you drink it.  For a certain group, of course, things are a little different.  Beer suddenly becomes a status symbol, a statement.  Drinking Budweiser says something about you.  So does drinking Flat Tire.  If you brew your own, well, you’re in a whole new ballpark of coolness right there.  For most people, putting that much thought into beer is a pointless exercise.  For most people, treating operating systems the way white snobs treat beer would also be a pointless exercise.

Nerds, needless to say, are not most people.

For nerds, the operating system of choice, more often than not, is Linux.  It may not be the operating system they boot their machines with, but, sure as the sunrise, most every self-respecting nerd will have a virtual machine that runs Linux or, more likely, have their computer(s) set to dual boot between Linux and Windows.  For nerds, Windows is a necessary evil - they don’t like it, but it’s what most games are run under.  Some nerds will spend an incredible amount of time getting their favorite games to run under Linux; those that do achieve a small slice of ur-Nerdiness that other nerds are obligated to feel supremely jealous of.

What is it that makes Linux special?  The answer they’ll give you is complex, focusing on how Linux is more secure than Windows, how Linux is “easier to use” than Windows, how Linux is “free as in speech”, and so on.  Under no circumstances should you ask a nerd what “free as in speech” means. The real answer, however, is much simpler - it’s because Linux is based on UNIX, an operating system that was the primary means of job security for nerds until Windows NT came along and made it possible for any idiot to become a mediocre sysadmin.  What made UNIX special was that it was almost incomprehensibly and fiendishly difficult to work on, requiring you to enter commands like the following to do anything useful:

[ 1] s/^[^A-Za-z]*/&\n/
[ 2] :loop
[ 3] /\n$/!{
[ 4] h
[ 5] x
[ 6] s/^[^\n]*\n(.).*/\1/
[ 7] y/abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz/ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ/
[ 8] x
[ 9] G
[10] s/\n.([A-Za-z]*[^A-Za-z]*)([^\n]*)\n(.)/\3\1\n\2/
[11] b loop
[12] }
[13] s/\n//

Right.  You can see how anything that requires someone to know how to do crap like that to do something as trivial as capitalizing the first letter in a word could be a great source of job security - as a UNIX admin, all you had to do was slam your hand on the keyboard from time to time and it’d look like you were doing work.  For all you knew, you probably were.  Then, Microsoft got it in their head that they could make a server-grade operating system, and, just like that, every nerd on the planet knew the jig was up.

Well, not quite every nerd… while most nerds were playing with UNIX at school or convincing their bosses that an expensive UNIX server was required to accomplish some seemingly trivial computer-related task, there were a few nerds trying to come up with another reason to keep UNIX in the server room.  Their goal:  Create a free UNIX, one that didn’t cost anybody a single dime to use.

They were successful, but the nerds made a fatal mistake - they forgot to get buy-in from important white people first.  What many nerds forget is that, in the end, important white people are always the ones that pay the bills.  This bugs nerds to no end, and will be the subject of future posts.

Meanwhile, another branch of nerds were working on the same thing.  Unlike the first group of nerds, they couched their efforts in terms of freedom from corporate manipulation, inventing terms like “open source” and “free as in speech”, which was necessary to get buy-in from important white people.  With the help of a rather precocious Finnish nerd, Linux was born.  It was free.  It had just enough of a social statement behind it for nerds to play against white people guilt to push it into the server room.  It wasn’t made by Microsoft, which is a big, nasty corporation - white people hate big, nasty corporations.  Most importantly, it was even more fiendishly difficult to administer than the original UNIX, at least at first.

There was just one problem - it’s really hard to show off how much of a nerd you are outside of a server room.  Thus, the quest to get Linux on the desktop began.

That quest began over ten years ago.  Since that time, Linux has only started to get usable enough for ordinary people to have a faint chance of figuring it out.  Meanwhile, another UNIX-based system, built on the efforts of the first group of nerds to create a free UNIX, is all the rage among trendy white people.  Real nerds (i.e. nerds that are not white people in disguise - since white people gravitate towards money, and since being a nerd was a rather lucrative title for a brief period in American history, there are many white people that chose a career other than law after art school) hate Apple due to their ability to make a user friendly version of UNIX.  If important white people actually figure out that it’s possible to run servers on their trendy white fruit-adorned products, nerds will be out of a job permanently, only to be replaced by much more socially adept liberal, left-leaning white hipsters with penchants for turtlenecks.

Just like a nerd’s knowledge and preference of Monty Python productions say something about the nerd, knowledge and preference of Linux distributions is also useful for sorting out how close a nerd is to ur-Nerdiness:

Ubuntu - Ubuntu is widely considered the “starter” Linux, something that those who are not familiar with Linux will cut their teeth on.  It’s relatively inoffensive, runs on most hardware, and is fairly easy to use.  It’s also the operating system used on the laptop that’s being used to write this very blog entry.  Claiming that you prefer Ubuntu will either earn you an understanding smile or a derisive jeer.  Either way, it will not earn you a seat to the next nerd D&D party.  In wine circles, declaring Ubuntu to be your favorite Linux distribution is akin to declaring that “Arbor Mist” is your favorite wine.

Fedora Core/CentOS/OpenSUSE - These three distributions are based on distributions that nerds run into at work; consequently, they’re fairly popular choices among nerds.  Generally, Fedora Core or CentOS are fairly safe bets; claiming to like OpenSUSE puts you in the middle of a political firestorm among nerds that you want as little as possible to do with, due to the corporate parent of OpenSUSE getting dangerously cuddly with certain large corporations.  In wine circles, declaring one of these to be your favorite distribution would be akin to declaring a common Paso Robles wine to be your favorite.

Gentoo/Slackware/Debian - These are three older distributions; older, in the case of Linux, means “pointlessly difficult to use”.  Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to feign competence with these distributions. You will be found out nearly instantly.  This would be the equivalent of claiming that your favorite wine is some well known old French vintage - you have to really know your stuff to have an intelligent conversation about it.

Xandros/Linspire - These distributions are forbidden!  Claiming that you enjoy these Linux distributions is like enjoying wine from Oklahoma.  That’s just not cool.

Following the Linux distribution/wine analogy, claiming that you don’t like Linux at all but instead prefer any flavor of BSD or Solaris is akin to walking into a wine party and declaring, “Oh, I don’t drink grape wine - I prefer mead.“  It’s a gutsy, daring, bold move that better be defensible, otherwise you’re just going to become the douche of the party.

Image of Tux found on Wikipedia.

No list of things that nerds like can begin without mentioning Monty Python.  Monty Python is to nerds what Arrested Development is to white people - it’s an introduction into their own culture.  It’s the first thing that many nerds pleasantly experienced with other nerds while also being something exclusionary that they could finally lord over everyone around them.  While everybody around them was making fun of them for not knowing the names of every NFL team, not knowing any rap beyond M.C. Hammer and Vanilla Ice, or not knowing how to dance, they probably didn’t have a way to get even until they discovered Monty Python.  Then, whenever their school chums would remark on how they didn’t know the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and the Houston Texans, they could reply with something about the Knights who say ‘Ni!’, or ask for a shrubbery in a high, nasally voice.  Of course, they’d still get their asses forcefed to them through a new hole in their esophagus, but at least they knew that, for once, they finally outwitted their tormentors, coming up with a secret font of cultural knowledge that their tormentors knew nothing about.

Of course, Monty Python has been around for several years; chances are, most nerds learned of Monty Python through their parents.  Consequently, over the years, nerds have needed to come up with new ways to weed out real nerds from people that happened to have nerdy parents.  The easiest way to sort out a real nerd from someone with an unfortunate background is to ask what Monty Python movies or episodes they have seen:

Monty Python and the Holy Grail - The person is either related to or has been in a relationship with someone that is a nerd.  The only way listing this movie is acceptable nerd cred is if the person can quote the entire movie verbatim.  Note that every nerd has seen this movie at least a dozen times.

Monty Python’s Life of Brian - The person may have nerdy tendencies, but could just be a white person in disguise.  Treat with caution and use follow-up questions.  Most nerds have seen this movie at least once, and quite a few will claim this is their favorite Monty Python movie.

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life - If the person has seen this, they’ve at least been around a nerd long enough for the nerd to trust that they may have an off-beat sense of humor that isn’t easily offended by naked women on rollerskates or the reproductive habits of the Irish.  Generally speaking, if a nerd is showing this movie to you, it’s because he or she has identified you as one of their own.  Consequently, not liking this movie is frequently considered a great insult and will banish you from nerd circles permanently.  That said, most nerds will not claim this is their favorite Monty Python movie, especially as they get older, preferring something more thoughtful, like Life of Brian, or obscure, like one of the following:

Any Monty Python Compilation - This would include compilations like And Now for Something Completely Different or Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl.  Even viewing any of these is a strong sign of nerdiness since few people under the age of 40 actually started watching Monty Python with their short sketches.  That said, many non-nerds will be able to list certain popular sketches from the compilations, such as the dead parrot sketch or the lumberjack; consequently, to prove nerd cred, it’s necessary to know a sketch that is a little more obscure.  That said, knowing a non-obvious sketch from the compilations will definitely earn you serious nerd points.

Monty Python’s Flying Circus - This is where things get somewhat interesting; though most nerds are familiar with Monty Python’s movies and enjoy them, actually owning Monty Python’s Flying Circus is a sign that you aren’t just a nerd, you’re a Monty Python nerd.  Though it’s vitally important to specialize in a specific field of nerdness in order to be an actual nerd, the more you specialize, the less you will be able to wander through nerd circles.  This is because, as nerds specialize, they become increasingly exclusionary, frequently trying to achieve an ultimate level of nerdiness that transcends all others; this allows them to not only be better than all non-nerds but also become superior to all nerds.  All other circles of nerds will frequently feel threatened by these ur-Nerds and will begin to shun them.  In the case of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, it’s universally acceptable in nerd circles to watch and appreciate the collection; owning and being able to quote verbatim more than 20% of the sketches, however, will immediately mark you as ascending into ur-Nerd status and render you suspect in non-Monty Python enjoying circles.  Worse yet, Monty Python nerds frequently overlap with theater people, which further taints and pollutes association with such types.

Any post-Monty Python production by Monty Python personnel - All nerds, even the non-Monty Python nerds, will be able to list and competently describe the plot of at least one non-Monty Python movie produced or acted in by Monty Python personnel, especially the works of Terry Gilliam.  Fairly common ones that nerds will be aware of is Brazil, or occasionally Time Bandits.  Mentioning Jabberwocky or The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, however, is considered to be dangerously close to slipping into Film Festival territory, due to their poor box office receipts and poor reviews, which means that it’s easy to be confused for a White Person when mentioning them.

It’s probably been fairly obvious, but I’ve had some issues trying to figure out what to write about here.  Politics just aren’t cutting it for me - there are only so many ways to knock Obama, after all, or cringe about McCain.  So, I’ve been trying to broaden my horizons, reading different blogs like Stuff White People Like, and that’s when it hit me:

I’m not white!

It then hit me, slightly later, that I must have been horribly mistaken - I’m the whitest guy I know, after all.  However, none of the things that Stuff White People Like excited me; on the contrary, they were precisely the kinds of things I usually held against other people.  The people that liked that crap were precisely the kind of people that I spent some time being envious of before I realized that it’s okay to be a Nerd.

Then, something far more profound hit me… it was like a religious calling.

I must detail Stuff That Nerds Like.

Lord knows I’m certainly qualified for this role, or, at least, I think I am.  I’m certainly nerdy.  I’m excited about technology.  I have questionable social skills.  As proof of that, when talking to my mom about her new home in Oklahoma, she mentioned that there were rolling hills there.  I pointed out that I was already acquainted with midwestern hills, having been to Iowa and Nebraska.  She replied, “Oh, it’s much hillier than that - we’re even hillier than Missouri!”  Being a nerd with minimal social skills, I chose a completely inappropriate analogy, asking her (my mother), “Isn’t that like having bigger boobs than a 12-year old girl?”

Folks, I was made for this job.

Let’s get to work.